Author Topic: my experience on self-enquiry  (Read 3932 times)

saraskrishna

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 51
    • View Profile
my experience on self-enquiry
« on: January 10, 2011, 07:55:59 PM »
Dear All,

I'm not sure whether I can share my experience here.. however, I am saying this.

When I start enquiring to myself, I first loosen my body and stay calm.. During this stage, if thoughts come, i either say to myself as 'let it go and i don't care' or try to find out why that thought came and rewind the thought step by step.. When i rewind and reach to the source of the thought, i see that a kind of selfishness binded with ego is the root cause (like my project or my name and fame in office or my respect in family and etc..).  This was difficult initially as, rewinding thoughts was tougher as i may forget what was the previous thought or feeling.. after i quiten and loosen,  slowly, i will experiece that my breath is going up and down. Then i will try to find out who is the experiencer in this.  During this step, slowly i get a sensation in the heart centre and sometimes, I feel like some small vent or door that is opening and closing whenever the breath goes up and down. Further to this, I may forget myself for few seconds, and when I again return to the stage of experiencing the opening and closing, i gasp for breath and again i start the whole process.

I try to do this whenever possible, however when involved in office, I'll not be able to proceed, as my full attention will be required on performing the tasks with accuracy...  However, first off all, I wanted to know from all of you whether this is the right way or is this how it goes on or what can i do to go further...

I always feel I am guided from inside and follow the steps of Bhagawan. Please share your thoughts.

Finally, I thank you so much for reading this post on my experience with patience.. 

With Love
Arunachala Shiva..
balasaraskrishna

Subramanian.R

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17366
    • View Profile
Re: my experience on self-enquiry
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2011, 09:35:52 AM »



Dear Saraskrishna,

I am of the view, that you are proceeding on the right direction.
However, I am not able to understand how you can gasp for breath,
since there was no breath-control, as you have reported.  The ego
is a stubborn fighter, and it will try its best to retain its stronghold
upon you.  This is the case for most of us.  One need further efforts
to go beyond the ego less state.  Perseverance and efforts are insisted in Sri Bhagavan's teachings. 



Arunachala Siva.

saraskrishna

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 51
    • View Profile
Re: my experience on self-enquiry
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2011, 08:43:45 PM »
Dear Subramanianji,

Thanks a lot for your reply.. I too don't know why would I gasp for breath or want to take a long deep breath.. However, my efforts are continuing.

Thanks again...


Arunachala Shiva.

Om Hridayam

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 54
  • Love Ramana Love Ramana Love Ramana Love
    • View Profile
Re: my experience on self-enquiry
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2011, 04:57:56 PM »
I also had a question on my practice.

I sometimes simply find myself thinking "I love you Ramana", not as a replacement for self-inquiry, but just as a spontaneous expression of bhakti...
I find this also quiets down my thoughts very effectively. I figure if guru and Self are the same then it is an expression of love for Bhagavan.
I do feel a natural love for Ramana so it's not a forced thing, either.

But I did want to ask if this was considered appropriate (To create my own sort of prayer to Ramana) or if it was better to just do traditional self-inquiry exclusively.

Subramanian.R

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17366
    • View Profile
Re: my experience on self-enquiry
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2011, 05:19:07 PM »



Dear Om Hridayam,

Name and even sometimes form can go along with self inquiry.
There is no harm.  Instead of asking Who am I? and getting into
Silence, where the mind is quiescent, one can also say the Name
of Sri Bhagavan.  I do self inquiry only by chanting within my lips
Arunachala Siva, Aruanchala Siva....  I am able to feel the quietening of the mind. The question and answer method did not suit me. Even at bed, before going to bed, I chant within me Arunachala Siva, Arunachala Siva.... and then fall into sleep. When I get up occasionally around 3 am and get up in regular waking up at 5.30 am or 6.00 am., I find that I am chanting Arunachala Siva, Arunachala Siva.... Very rarely, I feel Sri Bhagavan in my Heart.



Arunachala Siva.     

saraskrishna

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 51
    • View Profile
Re: my experience on self-enquiry
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2011, 08:22:23 PM »
Dear all,

even I feel chanting Arunachala Shiva quietens mind immediately, as I experieced...  when i find it difficult to do self-enquiry, i immediatly resort to Arunachala Shiva Arunachala Shiva...

with love
Arunachala Shiva...

S.Subramanian

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 45
    • View Profile
Re: my experience on self-enquiry
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2011, 10:16:27 PM »
Sometimes during self-enquiry breath becomes turbulent instead of becoming steady.  I think powerful vasanas are the reason for this.  Perseverance is the only way.  Surely Bhagavan guides us from within. 

Subramanian.R

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17366
    • View Profile
Re: my experience on self-enquiry
« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2011, 09:25:13 AM »



Dear S. Subramanian,

Yes.  Sri Bhagavan has said that mind and prana are from the same
branch.  When the mind is enquired into, prana also becomes
restless and turbulent.



Arunachala Siva.

Subramanian.R

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17366
    • View Profile
Re: my experience on self-enquiry
« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2011, 12:51:17 PM »



Dear Anil,

What saraskrishna mentioned as rewinding of thoughts is only
to ask - For whom, these thoughts arise? -  The answer will be
-To me -. Who am I?  Then the thoughts will go back to their
Source.



Arunachala Siva.

saraskrishna

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 51
    • View Profile
Re: my experience on self-enquiry
« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2011, 02:22:45 PM »
Dear all,

  What Anil ji and Subramanian Ji says are correct and i have experienced my self.  yes, when we rewind the thoughts step by step, obviously one will be further pulled over by other thoughts easily.. that's why it was very difficult in the begining for me.  But, very soon, on constant practice, i got that careful rewinding in couple of days.. so, when I do that, i am able to trace to the root of the thought and i was able to see 'I thought or mine thought' strongly responsible for all the other branched out thoughts... This is exactly as what Subramanian ji said. I will try to hold on to that I thought, but it will slip away easily in minutes.. for my vasanas and karmas are still stronger...


anyways, path of Jnana is not same for everybody.. It is the decision of Bhagawan.  So, something within me made me to try all these and it happened as such..

with love
Arunachala Shiva..

Subramanian.R

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17366
    • View Profile
Re: my experience on self-enquiry
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2011, 03:04:22 PM »



Dear saraskrishna,

Do not worry a bit about vasanas and feel that your vasanas are
stronger.  Atma Vichara  will take care of their annihilation.  Sri
Bhagavan said in Talks No. 384:  "The good tendencies and bad ones [Suvasana and Kuvasana] are concomitant, the one cannot exist without the other.  May be that one class predominates.  Good tendencies [Suvasana] are cultivated and they [after destroying the other ones - must also be finally destroyed by Jnana."



Arunachala Siva.

Subramanian.R

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17366
    • View Profile
Re: my experience on self-enquiry
« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2011, 04:12:35 PM »



Dear srkudai,

Yes.  One cannot go in and come out of meditation.  The resolution
of the mind into Consciousness is the finality.

Sri Bhagavan says in Who am I?:  One is in hot sun.  Comes to the
shade of the tree.  But again after some time goes into hot sun.
This man is an aviveki.  A Jnani ever remains in the shade of the tree.



Arunachala siva.

amiatall

  • Guest
Re: my experience on self-enquiry
« Reply #12 on: January 13, 2011, 04:53:11 PM »
dear saraskrishna,

all is well. Bhagavan Ramana has attracted you. You know His teaching. All else will take care of itself.

Everyone experience is and will be similar on this path, only the words and how the experience is described may differ.

Don't pay attention to thoughts. This I can tell for sure: leave them alone. Who is the looker? Relax into it, sink. Sinking happens from the heart area. The mind will play many tricks to bring back you to the body.

saraskrishna

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 51
    • View Profile
Re: my experience on self-enquiry
« Reply #13 on: January 13, 2011, 05:35:32 PM »
Dear All,

I agree with Udai too. That's why I'm trying to solve the issue at the source itself...  as long as we say we experience this and that.. it would mean mind is still acting or cheating us..

I have felt sometimes, my mind is cheating me by emulating or simulating the 'Self'.  For, i have read the qualities of self and remains in mind, as it will be illuminating so bright and ever lasting, may be in heart centre and etc etc.., my mind once created such a scene in my dream, or i think while waking from sleep, like a bright light emanating from heart centre and will try to make me believe this is self.. 

at such times, i only resort to Bhagawan's words. B'cos there was an experiencer still. Like, once when Bhagawan as asked what will he do if Shiva appears in front of Him and He replied saying He will question and order such shiva as not to come in front and exhibit plays... becuase that is not possible when HE Himself is THAT..

Out of all the desires, the desire to realize the self should get stronger and stronger by beating down all other feelings or emotions and we should be ready to give up anything for it without any expectation..  that should help us and take us inside as i believe..

and, meditation has to be continuous.. and for me meditation is only vicharam and it has to be as much continuous as possible. 


craving for his Grace..

with love,
Arunachala Shiva

matthias

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 358
    • View Profile
Re: my experience on self-enquiry
« Reply #14 on: January 25, 2011, 10:12:12 AM »
I want to add that meditation is not just an antidote to the big questions like "who am I and whnece?" you know it is transforming this body into the perfect enjoyment body....

like tasting honey instead of feeling a knot.

so as long as meditation is just a mental sport, mind cannot be transformed.

thats my humble opinion and regarding advaita or mahamudra or all other non dual approaches to meditation, without proper training in beeing at peace with bodymind it is useless...

a pith instruction in mahamudra is to relaxe into whatever arises....

not focus, not watch, not ignore....relaxe....why?

because if you focus if you are tense then your lung (prana) will be contracted and your body is a knot and not honey...


I came to the comclusion that the bliss the sutras and shastras, upanisahds, the dohas, tantras etc are talking about is a total experience of body and mind not a mental state alone its complete bliss

« Last Edit: January 25, 2011, 10:15:10 AM by matthias »