Therefore, when we investigate what it is that now shines as 'I', which we can do only by trying to focus
our entire attention only on the essential 'I' in the compound experience 'I am this body', we will begin
to experience 'I' in isolation (or at least in a relative degree of isolation) from the body and other adjuncts
with which is it now mixed, and hence instead of experiencing 'I am this body', we will begin to experience
'I am only I', which is what Bhagavan meant by the words 'nan nan endru' (as 'I am I'), as opposed to
'nan deham endru' (as 'I am this body'). In other words, we will begin to experience 'I' more clearly as it
really is. This is what Bhagavan meant when He said, 'then in one's heart a kind of shining (spurippu)
alone will itself appear to itself without sound as 'I am I' (appodu hirudayattil , nan nan endru sattam
illamal, tanakku t tane or vidha spurippu mattiram tondrum).
So long as we are attending to and thereby experiencing anything other than 'I', 'I' shines in a mixed
and confused form as 'I am this body', but when we try to experience only 'I', by attending to it alone,
it begins to shine more clearly in its pure form as 'I am just I'. Therefore, the kind of shining or spurippu
that Bhagavan refers to here as 'nan nan' or 'I am I' is relatively clearer and more precise experience of
'I'. Hence by carefully considering the meaning of of this third sentence of this passage, we can understand
that what Bhagavan means here by 'or vidha spurippu' or 'a kind of shining' is only clearer shining of
'I', or in other words, a fresh clarity of self awareness.
This is why I wrote earlier in this article that in the context of Bhagavan's teachings spurippu or sphurana
generally does not mean only clarity of self awareness but more specifically a fresh clarity (or a fresh degree
of clarity) of self awareness. 'I', our self awareness, is always shining, but so long as it is mixed and confused
with anything other than itself, it is not shining sufficiently clearly, so to enable it to shine (or experienced)
more clearly we must try to attend to it alone and thereby exclude from our awareness all other things.
When we thus try to attend to 'I' alone, we will experience it more clearly, and this increased clarity is what
Bhagavan meant by the terms spurippu or sphuranam.
Part II - completed.
contd.,
Arunachala Siva.