Author Topic: Living life, and the search for Truth. Question.  (Read 1741 times)


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Living life, and the search for Truth. Question.
« on: August 20, 2015, 02:40:16 PM »
Hi everyone,

I hope everyone is well.

I am having a bit of a struggle in my life at the moment. I am going to be married soon, and I am currently going back to study, in order to be able to get a job.

I find that my mind is very troubled these days, I find my sexual desires for other women has been accentuated since I have come to realise that I am going to be married. How to manage these strong impulses?

Also, I find my mind lacking in discipline and direction, and confused about how to act in the world whilst being 'spiritual'. I find that I have to desire, in order to be able to have a job I enjoy doing, and to support my family.

How to know my Dharma? Is that the right word? How do I know what I am to do, whilst acting in the world. Is there help available to help me become what I must be. I have studied Music for several years, but I have taken a break, I would like to make a living from Music, but it can be hard. Is there support there for this kind of desire to manifest? Or is this not in accordance with Self-Realisation?

Many thanks,
God Bless,


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Re: Living life, and the search for Truth. Question.
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2015, 03:50:32 PM »
Dear mcozire,

What is Dharma? 
Dharma is the way of life designed by elders of the ancient times.  There it is said that Sannaysa is
not for everyone.  It is only for the chosen few.  However, regarding Self Realization, this can be
attained even by married householders provided they follow the dharma fixed for them. That is,
rightful earning for livelihood, having spiritual interest, lending to the needy and poor and not
accumulating wealth too much.  A householder can do all these and more importantly taking care of
the wife for all her simple needs, like food, clothing and shelter, and if she wants a progeny, giving
her a progeny by sexual acts.  With these, if one could also take the refuge of a Guru, and listen to whatever
he says and acts accordingly, then one will be surely Self realized. Srimad Bhagavatam says all these.

Arunachala Siva.         

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Re: Living life, and the search for Truth. Question.
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2015, 06:45:32 PM »
where is the line between you and your mind ?    :)
simply stop telling the story of the self and see who you are without it


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Re: Living life, and the search for Truth. Question.
« Reply #3 on: August 20, 2015, 07:35:47 PM »
Dear Mark,

It is indeed hard when we find ourselves in such situations when we experience big changes in our lives,when we have choices to make,and  need to be assured we are going in the right direction.

It is very hard to shun some strong desires. Even,we hardly do that actually,just repress them and replace them. Which is worse. It depends how strong desire is. Sure,it is possible to shun it too,if will is strong.
What i saw,through my own experience is that we must see through this desire,to understand it,what it is really,so we could leave it alone. Most of them are just impulses,just mind's way to pull us into its vortex. And how easily mind gets pulled!.. Even if some desire was not there earlier,at least not on surface. But all this must be seen. It is of little help just to hear it. At Least for most of us.

I do not see what is wrong to pursue something You love,like music is. If Your heart is there,If You love it,it is unimportant that is hard. I believe we must earn some things in life,or fight for it. Many good things rarely happen in easy way. There are wrong battles too,so to say,but only You can know is it right or wrong in Your own case. Or even,sometimes we need to 'jump',to chose anyway,and see what happens. Than,whatever happen happen. It is not important. We will certainly learn something from it.
Listen to Your being only. In these moments too much thinking cannot help much. It only confuses. Try to be in solitude a little,to calm down this inside storm,and just follow Your heart,Your nature. Or look through the unfolding of events around You. It will lead You,it will show the way subtly. Except,it hardly answers the question in a way we want,directly and in our own language. But it cannot happen this way,coz that is not the point. We must go through it,through such dilemas and questions,and eventually rise above it,where there is no questions at all and question itself looks silly. Where all this is already answered.
All is just a mind play. And it revolves mostly around fear.

When it is about life,well,we must go through it. We cannot avoid it,if this is our dharma. And mostly,we find ourselves already involved in many ways. So there is no question of choice too,in essence.

Wherever it takes us,it does not matter. When these things happen to me,and they happen all the time,i found that only comfort and help i get is through God only. He always answers.

Deny yourself nothing - give yourself Infinity and Eternity and discover that you do not need them.
You are beyond.

Nisargadatta Maharaj

Wish You All the best!

With love and prayers,
« Last Edit: August 20, 2015, 08:01:49 PM by Jewell »


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Re: Living life, and the search for Truth. Question.
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2015, 11:00:03 PM »
Thank you very much Subramanian.R and Jewell, both of your words have indeed comforted me. I will no doubt come back again and again to these posts that I have made, that you all have so kindly answered for support.

Thanks again,
God Bless.