Hari,
I have absolutely no conflict with all this.It is quite simple and not contrived.This is not ego play.
Bhakti at its peak is called parabhakti and is no different than JnAna.In the fullness there is neither the path nor Goal.
Sri Ramakrishna wanting to be born again is not to be understood as if it is a personal wish.This is how Lord Sri Krishna also has said in The Bhagavad Gita:'In order to deliver the pious and to annihilate the miscreants, as well as to reestablish the principles of religion, I advent Myself millennium after millennium'.
Sri Ramakrishna talks about the ishwara Kotis and the Jiva kotis.This is another subject.The Ishwara Kotis are ever perfect,Nitya siddhas as He calls them.They are not born out of any compulsion due to karmic imprints.They come down to earth as ordained by the Divine will to show the way for other struggling jivas.
The sadhaka should take as much as he can assimilate and proceed with that.This is how Sri Ramakrishna puts it:
What do I care about knowing how many gallons of wine there are in the tavern? One bottle is enough for me. Why should I desire the knowledge of God's splendours? I am intoxicated with the little wine I have swallowed.
Namaskar.