Poll

Marital Status

I am Married
I am Unmarried but will eventually get married
I am choosing to remain Unmarried for Spiritual Quest
Undecided

Author Topic: Subject of Marriage  (Read 25345 times)

Ravi.N

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #45 on: February 10, 2013, 08:34:29 AM »
Udai,
Please take your time to deliberate on what is posted.We are not interested in 'Thoughts' but actual living.You may deliberate and then do as you please.

Namaskar.

Ravi.N

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #46 on: February 10, 2013, 08:49:02 AM »
udai,
Again more thoughts of 'Bondage' and 'Freedom'.Right now,Do you think 'I am Free'?Free from What?Who is Free?
Namaskar.

Ravi.N

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #47 on: February 10, 2013, 09:33:56 AM »
udai,
You just keep harping on this theme of Bondage and Freedom.The Freedom that is related to Bondage is no freedom at all.
To be afraid of so called Bondage and inventing a 'Mental schema' for freedom from it,is to be caught up and stagnate in it;It is just another form of mind culture only;this does have an utility.I am not denying this.Yet it is more an imitation than the Real thing.
This is all there to it.The 'acid Test' is like the feedback,which no one needs to shy away from,just because it may induce in one a sense of Bondage'!
Here is an excerpt from The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna:
"It is a joy to merge the mind in the Indivisible Brahman through contemplation. And it is
also a joy to keep the mind on the Lila, the Relative, without dissolving it in the Absolute.
"A mere jnani is a monotonous person. He always analyses, saying: 'It is not this, not this.
The world is like a dream.' But I have 'raised both my hands'. Therefore I accept
everything
.
Parable of the weaver woman
"Listen to a story. Once a woman went to see her weaver friend. The weaver, who had been
spinning different kinds of silk thread, was very happy to see her friend and said to her:
'Friend, I can't tell you how happy I am to see you. Let me get you some refreshments.' She
left the room. The woman looked at the threads of different colours and was tempted. She
hid a bundle of thread under one arm. The weaver returned presently with the refreshments
and began to feed her guest with great enthusiasm. But, looking at the thread, she realized
that her friend had taken a bundle. Hitting upon a plan to get it back, she said: 'Friend, it is
so long since I have seen you. This is a day of great joy for me. I feel very much like asking
you to dance with me.' The friend said, 'Sister, I am feeling very happy too.' So the two
friends began to dance together. When the weaver saw that her friend danced without
raising her hands, she said: 'Friend, let us dance with both hands raised. This is a day of
great joy.' But the guest pressed one arm to her side and danced raising only the other. The
weaver said: 'How is this, friend? Why should you dance with only one hand raised? Dance
with me raising both hands. Look at me. See how I dance with both hands raised.' But the
guest still pressed one arm to her side. She danced with the other hand raised and said with
a smile, 'This is all I know of dancing.
' "

I generally offer these excerpts on a as is where is Basis and leave it to the reader to take what he finds in it.I will make a departure here,to put it in the proper context.
The 'Raising of one Hand' is the mind's claim for freedom from Bondage.yet,it is bondage of a kind only,whether one would like to accept or not.
'Both The Hands Raised' is the clear State of Freedom,a Freedom that is absolute ,when one stays connected with the whole of Life.
Namaskar.

Nagaraj

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #48 on: February 10, 2013, 09:35:32 AM »
Dear Sri Udai,

I really do not have that much interest in substantiating elaborately, the subtle flaw in your approach. I am very well aware of what you have been conveying for quite some time now. The reason is because, I am more interested in my own self. I am definitely here only for a selfish reason of helping myself out. However I would like to express a couple of thoughts. The Self is ever untouched, the Self in Duryodhana too was untouched just as in Yudhishtira, Arjuna and Krishna, Ravana and Rama as well, but we only worship Sri Krishna and Sri Rama. You need to ponder a little bit more on this.

I am Self, it is unsaid, I am truly untouched by anything that happens before me, or what i also do, I am going to the extent of saying, i am confident enough to say, I can kill somebody and remain untouched and go to jail and get a third degree treatment and still remain untouched. But I do not want a jnana like this. The Jnana that i desire is one like Lord Rama, who is hailed as Maryada Purushottam, as Lord Krishna and not something lesser than that.

The Senses may go to thousands of places, yet I am still untouched by that, the intellect may reason a thousands of things, yet I, as the  Self, am untouched and absolutely peaceful. But still, i do not want to ignore this Temple that is this body, the horses, the senses.

You have been only giving importance to the Kshetrajna and no importance to Kshetram, you have consistently been differentiating with the two and see no need for the Kshetram to merge with the Khsetrajna as one.

Your approach seem to to suggest that there is no need to unite the entire chariot as given in the example of Yama to Nachiketa.

Unfortunately, your idea of freedom, according to my limited understanding, does not really meet the Freedom as understood from the words of Sages and scriptures.

If you are Free, why are you striving to explain to Freedom that you are already free? To whom are you conversing with? Who is in bondage? and who is Free? What are you doing? these are some questions you may need to inquire.

॥ शांतमात्मनि तिष्ट ॥
Remain quietly in the Self.
~ Vasishta

Ravi.N

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #49 on: February 10, 2013, 09:55:03 AM »
udai,
Forget Ramana.He will understand What sri Ramakrishna has said.Have you understood it?This is upto you,whether you wish to be caught up in sastra Jnana or whether you wish to pursue Sadhana.I have no need or wish  to prove you Right or Wrong.
Namaskar.

Ravi.N

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #50 on: February 10, 2013, 10:04:38 AM »
udai,
Forget the 'Monotonous aspect.We will come to it later.Just focus on the parable and my footnote.Let us discuss that.Then we will see what the 'Monotone' signify.Sri Ramakrishna explains it clearly.It has to do with the subject of Harmony that I have already mentioned.We will see it later.
Did you get what the 'Single hand raised' and 'Both the Hands raised' signify?
Namaskar

Ravi.N

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #51 on: February 10, 2013, 10:14:19 AM »
udai,
The two hands raised does not mean 'Bhakti and 'Jnana'.As,I have said,it signifies going beyond Bondage and Freedom.Such a one is a true jivanmukta and he is,so to say,connected with the whole of Life.He perceives Brahman everywhere,from ant to Brahma.
Please go through my footnote on the parable.
Namaskar.

Ravi.N

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #52 on: February 10, 2013, 10:47:57 AM »
Udai,
Thanks very much for going into this.Just how do we read this parable based on what actually is said therein-This is indeed wonderful.

It starts with Rejection and ends in unconditional acceptance.
The Mind feels the Bondage to the Objects and desires freedom from this Bondage-This is what the 'world', that it sees and experiences through the senses, means to it.It does this by Rejection in its effort to be free from it.However much it may keep rejecting,it still remains connected to what it 'Rejects';true it experiences a Degree of Freedom from whatever it has rejected.This is 'One Hand Raised' and with the other hand it is still subtly holding onto what it wants to be free from!The Master explains this by something Hidden under the other arm tucked in!
The Mind that is trying to free itself cannot free itself from itself.This is something that no jnani has explained the 'mechanics' of it.They all refer to it as an act of Grace only.Anyway,let us not discuss this for now.
What the Master says is that 'Both his hands are free' -meaning that he has gone beyond this battle of Freedom and Bondage.
The Lila does not mean Bhakti-The Lila signifies the Full perception of world as Brahman.What is discarded as 'Illusion' is to see the world as world.
We will see how the Master says elsewhere:
Paths of negation and affirmation
MASTER: "Let me tell you the truth. He [meaning Dr. Sarkar] is now following the path of
negation. Therefore he discriminates, following the process of 'Neti, neti', and reasons in
this way: God is not the living beings; He is not the universe; He is outside the creation.
But later he will follow the path of affirmation and accept everything as the manifestation
of God.
"By taking off, one by one, the sheaths of a banana tree, one obtains the pith. The sheaths
are one thing, and the pith is another. The sheaths are not the pith, and the pith is not the
sheaths. But in the end one realizes that the pith cannot exist apart from the sheaths, and the
sheaths cannot exist apart from the pith; they are part and parcel of one and the same
banana tree. Likewise, it is God who has become the twenty-four cosmic principles; it is He
who has become man.

Namaskar

sanjaya_ganesh

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #53 on: February 10, 2013, 10:58:02 AM »
BTW, a humourous observation on Nagaraj garu's original poll results  - Married people top the chart. Looks like marriage has some special ingredient to turn people towards the path of Truth :). It seems to be the one unfailing sadhana which works :) - marriage .

Sanjay
Salutations to Bhagawan

Ravi.N

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #54 on: February 10, 2013, 11:08:24 AM »
sanajaya,
 :)
It may also mean that married people spend more time just 'Logged in',thanks to the spouses!Whether this is sadhana or otherwise is another matter!
Reminded of the lady Proposing to G. Bernard Shaw  :)

Ravi.N

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #55 on: February 10, 2013, 06:59:44 PM »
udai,
You may consider what has been stated or go along your way.You keep saying 'Nothing troubles me'-For me this is only a 'Subjective' -As I have already said that it does not mean much.
Namaskar.
« Last Edit: February 10, 2013, 07:12:00 PM by Ravi.N »

Ravi.N

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #56 on: February 10, 2013, 07:09:18 PM »
Friends,
An excerpt from The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna:
Different groups of devotees
M: "Sir, what is the meaning of the realization of God? What do you mean by God-vision?
How does one attain it?"
MASTER: "According to the Vaishnavas the aspirants and the seers of God may be divided
into different groups. These are the pravartaka, the sadhaka, the siddha, and the siddha of
the siddha. He who has just set foot on the path may be called a pravartaka. He may be
called a sadhaka who has for some time been practising spiritual disciplines, such as
worship, japa, meditation, and the chanting of God's name and glories. He may be called a
siddha who has known from his inner experience that God exists. An analogy is given in
the Vedanta to explain this. The master of the house is asleep in a dark room. Someone is
groping in the darkness to find him. He touches the couch and says, 'No, it is not he.' He
touches the window and says, 'No, it is not he.' He touches the door and says, 'No, it is not
he.' This is known in the Vedanta as the process of 'Neti, neti', 'Not this, not this'. At last his
hand touches the master's body and he exclaims, 'Here he is!' In other words, he is now
conscious of the 'existence' of the master. He has found him, but he doesn't yet know him
intimately
.
"There is another type, known as the siddha of the siddha, the 'supremely perfect'. It is quite
a different thing when one talks to the master intimately, when one knows God very
intimately through love and devotion. A siddha has undoubtedly attained God, but the
'supremely perfect' has known God very intimately.

Namaskar.

Vinod

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #57 on: February 11, 2013, 02:06:21 AM »
Friends,

It just occurred to me to bring this topic in order to find out how many are already married and how many are unmarried and how many are thinking of remaining unmarried in-order to lead a spiritual life. May be, the above groups may be able to think and progress on the lines of the group they belong and discuss, maybe, on how to really go from here.

I know, we are all here and we do get some good satsang, but sometimes, it becomes a routine exercise as a part of our daily lives. its also perhaps we can say, an alarm for ourselves, are we really serious about our quest? and if so how to really proceed from where we are. i proposed to raise such topics from the results of this poll.

Your suggestions are welcome. Thank you. Expecting each one of you to exercise your vote.



Dear Nagraj,

I am unmarried & not sure were my destiny takes me on this. Some times I feel difficult to follow the quest of spirituality & however try my level best to be on it. When I was not spiritual I was not concerned of any thing & used to do any thing with out a second thought but now even though some times I cannot control my sences but still I give a second thought wether to do a thing or not.

I agree on a point which u have made, that it becomes routine for us coming to this forum & forget to implement what we learn from here or take it forward. It all depends on us & how serious are we, so it is a personal quest & how commited one is. However even if it becomes a routine exercise it acts as a reminder or a wake up call at times. I am so thank ful to this forum that what ever spirituality I have gained, its only through this platform with the sympathy & grace of Arunaachala & our master.

Om Arunaachaleshwaraaya Namaha!

deepa

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #58 on: February 11, 2013, 06:43:29 AM »
Vinod-ji
It is nice that you are at a juncture to make this decision.

I know 2 people who wanted to become sanyasis, but who did not get their guru's blessings to do so. One of them was my maternal grandfather - I thank his guru, otherwise I would not be here writing this  ;)

In a sense, those who commit to sanyasa already know that the world the "anatma" (not just say the words, but truly see the world as anatma). They may not have realized the "atma" yet, atleast the first part of ignorance is already addressed maybe in previous births. 

Vinod

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Re: Subject of Marriage
« Reply #59 on: February 11, 2013, 09:12:09 AM »
Deepa Ji,

Talking about Sanyasis, there are also certain set of people who dont want to take any responsibilities & as an excuse adopt an option called Sanyasi. My nephew, he is the only son to his parents who r financially very weak & he did not study well, doesnt do any work & reads all the mythological/spiritual books & preaches his parents not to eat non veg & other things & fails his primary responsibilities being a son.

My friends Uncle is a married guy, also had kids but after few years of married life he left his family & now lives somewhere near parvathamalai hills as a sadhu. So there are certain set of people who adopt spirituality(as an excuse) & become sanyasi to escape from the worldly responsibility.

There are also beggers who transform themselves as a sadhu to earn easy money & do all things which they are not supposed to do.

There are also category like Nityaananda etc on whom I dont want to waste time by typing.

***My comments are purely personal & not to hurt any ones feelings/sentiments***

Om Arunaachaleshwaraaya Namaha!
« Last Edit: February 11, 2013, 09:17:16 AM by Vinod »