Author Topic: Zen Humour  (Read 10101 times)

Subramanian.R

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Re: Zen Humour
« Reply #15 on: November 01, 2012, 05:17:53 PM »
Dear Nagaraj,

Once a thief came to a zen master's hut and thieved all the simple belongings of him. Next day, people came
to him for consoling. The Zen Master said: What is there? I wish I had given him the moon on the sky if I could!

Arunachala Siva.
         

Nagaraj

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Re: Zen Humour
« Reply #16 on: November 08, 2012, 04:31:08 PM »
MIND


Chan master Fa-yen (885-958) interrupted an argument among
some monks concerning the relationship of mind to reality by
posing to them a question: “Over there is a large boulder.
Do you say that it is inside or outside your mind?” One of the
monks replied, “From the Buddhist viewpoint everything is an
objectification of mind, so that I would have to say that the
stone is inside my mind.” Quipped Fa-yen, “Your head must
be very heavy!”


       
« Last Edit: November 08, 2012, 04:32:43 PM by Nagaraj »
॥ शांतमात्मनि तिष्ट ॥
Remain quietly in the Self.
~ Vasishta

Subramanian.R

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Re: Zen Humour
« Reply #17 on: November 08, 2012, 05:07:20 PM »
Dear Nagaraj,

Very nice. When the monk and his assistant were sleeping, the boulder was nowhere to be seen.

Arunachala Siva.
   

Nagaraj

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Re: Zen Humour
« Reply #18 on: November 09, 2012, 11:16:19 AM »
A Million

A man trying to understand the nature of God asked him:
“God, how long is a million years to you?”God answered,
“A million years is like a minute.” Then the man asked,
“God, how much is a million dollars to you?” And God replied,
“A million dollars is like a penny. ”Finally the man asked,
“God, could you give me a penny?” And God said,
“In a minute!”


॥ शांतमात्मनि तिष्ट ॥
Remain quietly in the Self.
~ Vasishta

Subramanian.R

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Re: Zen Humour
« Reply #19 on: November 09, 2012, 03:59:09 PM »
Dear Nagaraj,

Nice humor.

Arunachala Siva.

Nagaraj

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Re: Zen Humour
« Reply #20 on: November 09, 2012, 07:06:25 PM »
Two men were arguing about a flag flapping in the wind.

"It's the wind that is really moving," stated the first one.

"No, it is the flag that is moving," contended the second.

A Zen master, who happened to be walking by, overheard the debate and interrupted them.

"Neither the flag nor the wind is moving," he said, "It is MIND that moves."
॥ शांतमात्मनि तिष्ट ॥
Remain quietly in the Self.
~ Vasishta

Subramanian.R

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Re: Zen Humour
« Reply #21 on: November 10, 2012, 02:21:59 PM »
Dear Nagaraj,

Nice. Arthur Osborne has written a book titled: Be still, it is the wind that sings.

When at Demboin, Baso used to sit cross legged all day and meditating. His master, Nangaku Yejo, saw him and asked:

What are you seeking here, thus sitting cross legged?

My desire is to become a Buddha!

Thereupon the Master took  a piece of brick and began to polish it hard on a stone near by.

What work are you doing, Master, asked Baso.

I am trying to turn this into a mirror!

No amount of polishing will make a mirror of the brick, Sir.

If so, no amount of sitting cross legged as you do will make you a Buddha, said the Master.

What shall have I do  then?

It is like driving a cart. When it moves not , will you whip the cart or the ox?

Baso made no answer.

(There is no point in body-torturing, the mind should be pure.)

Arunachala Siva.           

Nagaraj

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Re: Zen Humour
« Reply #22 on: November 14, 2012, 07:44:41 PM »
Nice story Subramanian Sir, i just saw today! Yes, it is all in the mind, mana eva manuShyAnAm kAranam bandhahmOkShah.



॥ शांतमात्मनि तिष्ट ॥
Remain quietly in the Self.
~ Vasishta

Nagaraj

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Ordinary mind
« Reply #23 on: November 14, 2012, 07:45:44 PM »
ordinary mind

Joshu asked Nansen, “What is the Way?” Nansen answered, “Your ordinary mind–that is the Way.” Joshu said, “Can it be grasped (for study)?” Nansen replied, “The more you pursue, the more does it slip away.” Joshu asked once more, “How can you know it is the Way?” Nansen responded, “The Way does not belong to knowledge, nor does it belong to non knowledge. Knowledge is illusion. Non knowledge is beyond discrimination. When you get to this Way without doubt, you are free like the vastness of space, an unfathomable void, so how can you explain it by yes or no?” Upon hearing this, Joshu was awakened.

॥ शांतमात्मनि तिष्ट ॥
Remain quietly in the Self.
~ Vasishta

Hari

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Re: Zen Humour
« Reply #24 on: November 14, 2012, 08:20:50 PM »
Beautiful Zen stories! Thanks both of you!
Web Page dedicated to the Great Sages:
https://someoneelsebg.000webhostapp.com/Sages/HTML.php

Nagaraj

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Zen
« Reply #25 on: November 15, 2012, 07:37:45 AM »
Zen teachers train their young pupils to express themselves. Two Zen temples each had a child protégé. One child, going to obtain vegetables each morning, would meet the other on the way.

“Where are you going?” asked the one.

“I am going wherever my feet go,” the other responded.

This reply puzzled the first child who went to his teacher for help. “Tomorrow morning,” the teacher told him, “when you meet that little fellow, ask him the same question. He will give you the same answer, and then you ask him: ‘Suppose you have no feet, then where are you going?’ That will fix him.”

The children met again the following morning.

“Where are you going?” asked the first child.

“I am going wherever the wind blows,” answered the other.

This again nonplussed the youngster, who took his defeat to his teacher.

“Ask him where he is going if there is no wind,” suggested the teacher.

The next day the children met a third time.

“Where are you going?” asked the first child.

“I am going to the market to buy vegetables,” the other replied.


« Last Edit: January 13, 2014, 03:12:15 PM by Nagaraj »
॥ शांतमात्मनि तिष्ट ॥
Remain quietly in the Self.
~ Vasishta

Jewell

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Re: Zen Humour
« Reply #26 on: November 15, 2012, 11:56:40 AM »
 :D :D

Subramanian.R

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Re: Zen Humour
« Reply #27 on: November 15, 2012, 01:25:11 PM »
Dear Nagaraj,

See this poem of Fudaishi (Fu-ta-shih_:

Empty handed I go and yet the spade is in my hands;
I walk on foot, and yet on the back of an ox I am riding;
When I pass over the bridge,
Lo, the water floweth not, but the bridge doth flow.

Arunachala Siva.   

Nagaraj

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Re: Zen Humour
« Reply #28 on: November 15, 2012, 07:03:14 PM »
One day the Master announced that a young monk had reached an advanced state of enlightment. The news caused some stir. Some of the monks went to see the young monk. "We heard you are enlightened. Is that true?" they asked.

"It is," he replied.

"And how do you feel?"

"As miserable as ever," said the monk.

॥ शांतमात्मनि तिष्ट ॥
Remain quietly in the Self.
~ Vasishta

Subramanian.R

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Re: Zen Humour
« Reply #29 on: November 15, 2012, 07:33:58 PM »
Dear Nagaraj,

Yes. The state of Enlightenment has nothing to do with the world. The sufferings would continue. Happiness would
continue. Pain would continue. Plaeasures would continue. The Jnani would keep them all less since his mind /body
complex is lost its vigor. And practically absent. Perhaps the monk might have told I am feeling less  miserable.

Arunachala Siva/