When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Elbert Hubbard
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...
And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White