Author Topic: My Journey so far in self enquiry  (Read 2537 times)

Vinod

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My Journey so far in self enquiry
« on: August 26, 2012, 10:58:58 PM »
Dear All,

Its been some time I've started self enquiry and these are my observations.

1. Its very hard to do this process at home due to many obstacles/disturbances, hence i feel its better to be done out doors.

2. For initial few minutes its a battle between the self and the mind. This stage mind behaves like enemy disturbing, self with many thoughts and it is a very crucial stage to take control of the mind. If u win this, a major battle has been won.

3. Once the mind is idle, the difference between the body and the self can be easily felt.

4. This stage, self enquiry starts and many questions raise along with the answers. These are the answers, generally we do not get out side in the unreal world (when we think keeping eyes opened).

5. Some times when I open eyes in between the process, its just like waking up in a different world. It takes some effort again, to go back in to the same groove.

6. When the time has come to stop the process and when we open our eyes, the brain starts doing its work again(imaginations, memories etc). Here you can clearly feel what brain does.

7. Mind reacts very slow(till some time) when we immediately open our eyes - The other day when I was in a train journey, I have done this process and by the time I opened my eyes, all most all of the passengers were off the train and I was so confused that I coudnt able to figure out where is the exit of the metro station and had to, get on and get down of the foot over bridge twice to know the exit. This is the same station I have been traveling for past 7 Yrs.

8. Minutes go like seconds in this process.

9. Found self enquiry with open eyes very tough compared to closed eyes. Some how mind dominates, when eyes are opened. 

10. Was able to ignore the Little pain or irritations of the body, when deeply involved in the process which otherwise generally bothers us.

Summary:  These are my observations and would glad to know about your experiences. 
« Last Edit: August 26, 2012, 11:20:33 PM by vinod526 »

Jewell

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Re: My Journey so far in self enquiry
« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2012, 03:43:06 AM »
Dear Vinod,

In my case,it is true that time is passing very fast,hour look like 10 minutes.
When i started with selfenqiury,i tried with question Who am I. But,then,i start repeating it like a parrot. Then i start concentrating on myself only,on that I,me. Like i was trying to convince someone that it is it me,but actually convincing myself,I,I,I,and watching it. Like watching myself in the mirror. And,during the day,when i am doing usual stuff,talking,thinking,i am asking myself Who is this who think this?,Who is this who feel this?,it is not me,etc.

In the begining i was doing it with eyes closed,coz it was easier for me to concentrate like this. Even,i couldnt keep my eyes closed long enough,and i start closing my eyes with hands.:-) I am doing selfenquiry in the way most natural and easiest for me. Now,i am doing it with eyes open,and during the day i just keep with me that sense of me,of I,coz it have a taste somehow.

I never could keeping my mind without thoughts,they come and go,thinking this and that. But if i menage to hold that I even for a few seconds,it is enough,then there is no thoughts,or at least,they are in the background.
And about body,sometimes i felt pressure,sometimes a headaches,but then i stop it,and rest for a while.

I feel that it is more important our motive and sincere will than way in which we do selfenquiry. But that are my own observations.
« Last Edit: August 27, 2012, 06:17:30 AM by Jewell »

Subramanian.R

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Re: My Journey so far in self enquiry
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2012, 02:26:57 PM »
Dear vinod, Jewell,

When the question Who am I?, becomes answerless, then it is true self inquiry.

Arunachala Siva.

Vinod

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Re: My Journey so far in self enquiry
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2012, 04:24:51 PM »
Jewell - For me with eyes opened I get disturbed with thoughts and find hard to focus on self enquiry, as most of the time I am either in conversations or in work. But somehow I've gained control on mind while keeping eyes closed.

Subramanian - Yes! who am I is just like a staircase to the building which helps us to reach the floor and the rest is on us.


Initially i used to keep saying "who am I" many times continuously inside like a mantra(om namah shivaya) but gradually I understood its role.

I have a question here, do most of the sages or jnanis used to do only self enquiry when they meditate in forest or were they involved in some other process?

OM ARUNACHALESHWARAAYA NAMAHA!
« Last Edit: August 27, 2012, 04:43:56 PM by vinod526 »

Subramanian.R

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Re: My Journey so far in self enquiry
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2012, 05:43:10 PM »
Dear vinod and Jewell,

In Jayanti issue of Mountain Path, for the year 2005, Mr. Patrick Roberts says: The enquiry Who am I? after some time should
enable the mind to seek its Source, i.e. the Self. It is not a mantra. It is not find out what is the Self? Because the Self cannot
be objectified. When you find out the source of the mind/ego, you will attain the Source which can only be experienced. It cannot
be described. You will be like a thief who while thieving at night in  a house, get stung by a scorpion. He cannot open his mouth
to cry nor inform other that he has been stung by a scorpion! But here, it is not pain or sorrow but absolute bliss.

Arunachala Siva.     

Vinod

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Re: My Journey so far in self enquiry
« Reply #5 on: August 27, 2012, 10:50:33 PM »
Dear Subramanian,

That's a very nice comparison you have given.

Thank you!

OM ARUNACHALESHWARAAYA NAMAHA!

 

Jewell

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Re: My Journey so far in self enquiry
« Reply #6 on: August 28, 2012, 12:30:19 AM »
Yes Subramanian sir. We can find only what is not the Self. And,i hope that scorpion will stung us to.