Author Topic: surrender is the last resort  (Read 1131 times)


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surrender is the last resort
« on: April 23, 2012, 06:29:43 PM »
Somewhere I read Nagaraj telling that one day we have to kneel down before the higher power.

How true the words are .

Take my case friends.  Nowadays I am doing more sadhana only to find that the worst of the desries and lust are dancing all around me. 

It seems very little hope exists.  The maya has spread all over the mountain of arunachala and it is as if my ego is increased and inflated instead of bringing down.

I feel like crying aloud for whereve I turn it seems the embodiment of falsehood has spread over.

With my Guru's name in my lips,  I am lying as if having some dizziness.  The more I do my japa,  the more I am having great mental pain.  I am not going to give up.  This is the time I finish my cycle.  My "I" sense must  go at any cause to the lotus feet of my Guru. 

Again to go back to the mud of maya is unthinkable for me. 

Hey Para Shakthi, for many past lives,  you made me slip down from my yogic path into the deeper realms of samsara and made me a man of lust.  I slipped,  slipped, slipped life after life.

I did severe penances all by 'myself' and everytime you just dissolved all my big tombs of sand in your playful mood by submerging me into the powerful maya of Manmatha.

But this time,  Amma I beg your mercy,  dont do that again to me,  in this current life,  I am not going to do heavy sadhanas of the Bhairvas or Aghoras as I did in my past lives,  I am not going to do  hatha yoga and boast myself as I did in my past lives,  I have understood my blunders.  I am not going to control my breath or do the tapas in  between the fires as I did in my past lives.   I am not going to do continous fasting as I did in my past lives.  I am not going to do self sacrifice of prana as I did in my past lives,  this life I have understood the vanity of all that.  I am just holding of your lotus feet ,  you who have come in the form of my Guru.  Please lift me up.  Heavy jump,  I cannot do Amma,  it is very heavy jump,  please extend your divine hands,  let me take hold of it and come up to final liberation.   

Charanam , Charanam.