Rough Notebook-Open Forum

[atmavichar100]

ANNAMALAI SWAMI ? FINAL TALKS
Annamalai Swami: Bhagavan watched me very closely in the years that I served him in the ashram. One time I went to the Mother's temple where many people were talking about worldly matters.
Bhagavan called me back, saying, 'Why should you go to that crowd? Don't go to crowded places. If you move with the crowd, their vasanas will infect you.'
Bhagavan always encouraged me to live a solitary life and not mix with other people. That was the path he picked for me. Other people got different advice that was equally good for them.
But while he actively discouraged me from socializing, he also discouraged me from sitting quietly and meditating during the years that I was working in the ashram. In this period of my life, if Bhagavan saw me sitting with my eyes closed he would call out to me and give me some work to do.
On one of these occasions he told me,
'Don't sit and meditate. It will be enough if you don't forget that you are the Self. Keep this in your mind all the time while you are working. This sadhana will be enough for you.
The real sadhana is not to forget the Self. It is not sitting quietly with one's eyes closed. You are always the Self. Just
don't forget it.'
Bhagavan's way does not create a war between the mind and the body. He does not make people sit down and fight the mind with closed eyes. Usually, when you sit in meditation, you are struggling to achieve something, fighting to gain control over the mind. Bhagavan did not advise us to engage in this kind of fight. He told us that there is no need to engage in a war against the mind, because mind does not have any real, fundamental existence. This mind, he said, is nothing but a shadow. He advised me to be continuously aware of the Self while I did the ordinary things of everyday life, and in my case, this was enough.
p. 67

[Balaji]

Dear Atmavichar

very nice postings of Sri Annamalai swami final talks.

[Subramanian.R]

Today is Chiruth Thonda Nayanar Liberation Day.  Chitra month and Bharani star.

I have already given the life story of Chiruth Thonda Nayanar, in my serial post
of 63 Saive Saints.  Members are requested to go through the same to know the full
life story of Chiruth Thonda Naynar. 

Arunachala Siva. 

[Subramanian.R]

Today is Mangayarkarasi Naynar liberation day.  She attained Siva's feet, on this
day, the month of Chitra Rohini star day.

The detailed life story of Mangayarkarasi Nayanar has been given in my serial posts on
63 Saiva Saints.  Members are requested to go through the same.

Arunachala Siva.

[Orihh]

I was just doing japa of "Om Namo Sardamma", and while my focus was beginning to increase over time, I started getting sensations in my body and mind that felt close to hallucinations on a high fever (visualizations of shapes, feelings of textures, etc.).  I viewed it as a mental distraction so I immediately got back to repeating the japa.  Despite this, the sensations kept increasing, so I kept trying to bring my attention back to the mantra.  They eventually got so intense that I felt extremely uncomfortable and had to open my eyes. When I closed them, I attempted again to hold onto the japa, but just as my focus honed on the words, the sensations became intense again. So then I asked myself "who is the one experiencing all this?".  My focus suddenly went to the I-thought and I found myself doing self-enquiry.  This sustained itself for some time, and all the while these hallucinations kept affecting me.  Eventually I stopped and opened my eyes to realize that I was sweating quite a lot.

Can anyone give me advice as to what to do with these strange sensations?  Am I approaching it all from the wrong angle?

[atmavichar100]

Dear Orihih

One thing with doing Japa is that if done in excess without proper preparation of the mind( i.e there should be more sattva in the mind )  then you will get these sort of experiences .Doing normally one round of  Japa ( 108 beads ) in morning and one round in evening will not cause much mental disturbances but when suddenly you do in excess of Japa in one sitting then these sort of experiences are likely to happen as all the subconscious stuff will be ejected out .  In the Sivananda System of Yoga where I got trained they divided all forms of sadhana in tow types daily and intense and daily sadhana you do in your own house along with your other activities like attending to family , work etc etc but when it comes to doing Intense sadhana be it Japa , Pranayama , Hatha Yoga , Scriptural study , etc etc then they advise you to move to an ashram like environment  where the atmosphere is very conducive for doing intense sadhana and your whole body and mind in an ashram environment will be purified a lot and you will be able to carry on Intense sadhana more easily without these sort of distractions .Plus you need to have a proper mentor to guide you through this process . Many people end up in problems doing intense sadhana ( like Japa , Pranayama , Hatha Yoga etc etc ) on their own just by reading books .So my suggestion to you is to slow down your Japa sadhana for the time being ,watch the sensations and slowly keep building them up step by step .I do not know whether I have clarified your doubt but I wrote this based on my own experience and also from the guidance I got from the teachers at my Yoga Ashram .

[Orihh]

This is very interesting, thank you for your reply.

I think what you're saying definitely applies to my situation to an extent.  I wouldn't consider my current sadhana of 20 minutes of japa twice a day intense, but it may have produced that unpleasant affect based on the rajasic and tamasic quality of my current mind, as you've said.  I've only just resumed daily practice this week after a few months hiatus, and my mind isn't as sattvic as it was previously.  I'm now taking more consideration to eat a strict sattvic diet and to avoid excess extroversion of the mind, and I hope that these efforts will make my sadhana more easy-going. 

On another note, something that's been going on during my meditation for a long time has also been of interest to me.  I'm not sure if it is an unwanted side-effect or not, but sometimes if my concentration gets a bit strong, my eyes will start to roll in certain directions (usually upwards or inwards towards the back of my skull).  The feeling is pleasant for a while, but I soon notice that I'm focusing more on the nice sensation of my eyes moving rather than my actual meditational object.  Also, if my eyes stay like that for long, they usually get tired and then roll back to a forward-facing position.  This all happens with my eyelids closed. 

For a while I wasn't sure what the occurrences were, but after a point, I decided that they were just a distraction and that if I notice my eyes rolling off, I should bring them back forward and focus on the meditational object again... I still don't know why it happens though, do you have any ideas?

Again, thank you for your input!

[atmavichar100]

Usually, we could not tell if Bhagavan was asleep or awake, though in reality he was always awake ? awake to the Self. How he managed to remain in that unbroken state of universal awareness and still functioned in a limited, physical form remains a mystery. We cannot understand that state. In spite of his exalted state, he interacted with us at our level. He took considerable interest in the functioning of the Ashram and the accommodation of visitors.
His actions were spontaneous and natural, and by watching him we learnt how to live in the world. His example was the greatest teaching, and his divine presence far out-weighted a lifetime of strenuous sadhana. Just to think of him or sit in his presence used to raise us to higher levels of blessedness.
He understood human frailty and was determined to teach us how to transcend it, not dwell upon it.
- Balarama Reddy, 'My Reminiscences'

[atmavichar100]

[atmavichar100]

DESTRUCTION OF VASANAS
The nature of thoughts that arise in the mind will be in accordance with the old vasanas.
Vasanas themselves are the mind. If there are no vasanas there is no mind. That which Is, is sat.
The disturbing agitation of mind that occurs when one attempts to get firmly established in sadhana is a normal occurrence that is prompted by the rising of vasanas.
If at that time you hold tightly to the power of the grace of the parasakti that has possessed you (the inner feeling for the ?I?-am) the vasanas that agitate your mind and distress you will be completely destroyed.
Unless the destruction of all vasanas is accomplished, it will not be possible even for Ishwara to bestow the state of liberation.
- Padamalai

[atmavichar100]

IVE IN THE UNDERSTANDING THAT YOU ARE THE REALITY
Q. How can one quicken this coming of realization?
A. As one strives to know the true ?I? the attachment to objects, the bad and degrading thoughts gradually drop off. The more one does not forget the Self, the more do elevating qualities become ours. Realization will come eventually.
Q. Why does an Upanishad say, ?He whom the Atman chooses, to him alone does It reveal Itself, not to others?? Does not this seem arbitrary?
A. No. It is correct. It chooses those only who devote themselves to It, who become Its devotees. It draws such devotees inwards to Itself. One must turn inward to find the Atman. He who thinks of It, It will draw to Itself.
All such thoughts as ?Attainment is hard? or ?Self-realization is far from me?, or ?I have got many difficulties to overcome to know the Reality?, should be given up, as they are obstacles; they are created by this false self, ego. They are untrue.
Do not doubt that you are the Reality; live in that understanding. Never question it by referring your realization of it to some future time. It is because people are victimized and hypnotized by such false thoughts that the Gita says that few out of millions realize the Self.
Conscious Immortality

[atmavichar100]

SUTTAVIRU
37. What exists is the plenitude of object-free jnana, which shines as unconditioned reality. The world appears as an object that is grasped by your suttarivu. Like the erroneous perception of a person with jaundice who sees everything as yellow, this entire world is a deluded view consisting wholly of a mind that has defects such as ego, deceit, desire, and so on.
Suttarivu is a key word in Muruganar?s writings. Arivu means consciousness or true knowledge, and it is often used in Tamil as an equivalent of jnana. ?Suttu? means ?pointed at?. Arivu is the true consciousness, the true knowledge that is aware of nothing other than itself. However, when attention is externalized and ?pointed at? phenomena that are assumed to be external, the trinity of seer, seeking and seen arises. This creates the idea of an individual self who sees an external real world, and while this suttarivu process is functioning, the reality of the undivided Self is hidden.
The term suttarivu comes from Saiva Siddhanta philosophy, a subject Muruganar had a strong grounding in, but it does not appear in Vedanta. The word is generally translated as ?objectifying consciousness?, ?objectified consciousness?, ?objective knowledge? or ?relative knowledge?, but since these terms are a little abstract and do not fully convey this process whereby the externalizing of attention brings about duality, we have retained the Tamil word suttarivu in many of the verses.
[A note from the authors]
- GVK

[Ravi.N]

அருளால் எவையும்பார் என்றான் - அத்தை
      அறியாதே சுட்டிஎன் அறிவாலே பார்த்தேன்
இருளான பொருள்கண்ட தல்லால்-கண்ட
      என்னையுங் கண்டிலன் என்னேடி தோழி - சங்கர 13

"See thou through the eyes of Grace", He said;
Knowing not how to do it
I saw through my knowledge, differentiated;
other than seeing darkness (objects and appearances)
did not see even  myself who saw;
How strange is all this! O, Maid!
Sankara Sankara Sambo-Thayumanavar

[Ravi.N]

Aatmavichar,

"The term suttarivu comes from Saiva Siddhanta philosophy, a subject Muruganar had a strong grounding in, but it does not appear in Vedanta"

The authors of GVK are mistaken...This suttarivu is what is called 'paroksha' in vedanta philosophy...i.e it is indirect knowledge ,that which is pointed by the vedas and which the mind tries to grasp ...The direct knowledge is called Aparoksha,knowledge through  identity...Self knowledge.

There is no fundamental difference between vedanta and siddhanta and this equivalence is emphasized by thayumanavar in his verses on 'siddhar ganam'.....each of these verses ends thus:

வேதாந்த சித்தாந்த சமரசநன் னிலைபெற்ற
      வித்தகச் சித்தர்கணமே

Those who attain perfection in vedanta are called veda vitthagar ,and those who do so in Siddhanta are called Siddhar....and this perfection is the same...they just use different terminology.

[atmavichar100]

Thanks Sri.Ravi for your inputs