Author Topic: A Request  (Read 199 times)

Agnoia

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A Request
« on: November 18, 2018, 03:42:03 AM »
It's been a while since I wrote to these forums.  This forum is a kind of refuge for me.  I sincerely appreciate reading what is posted here and the shared love that there is.

It seems I write when I am struggling as I find the responses here to be what I need.  Forgive the selfishness and ignorance of my request, but I have been facing health difficulties lately and I would really appreciate some positive thoughts and key reminders.  How does one intensify their faith beyond what it is presently?

Thank you.

Jewell

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Re: A Request
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2018, 09:13:54 PM »
Dear Agnoia,

Prayer is the best way-honest and deep-hearted prayer,and trust that God with look after us whatever happens. Pray with all Your heart and Soul,pray from the depth of Your being and all will be well. It is hard to have faith when we face such difficulties,but actually,there lies the key of faith and trust. Trust is valued in darkness.
What can harm the Soul? Only body is affected,not our essence-remember this!

May all be well with You!

With love and prayers,


And, behold,
a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years,
came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment:
For she said within herself,
If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole.
But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said,
''Daughter, be of good comfort; your faith has made you whole.''

Matthew 9:20,21,22


I should not make any promises right now,
But I know if you
Pray
Somewhere in this world -
Something good will happen.

Hafiz


Agnoia

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Re: A Request
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2018, 10:27:18 PM »
Thank you for the reply Jewell, and the quotes.  I appreciate it.

Yes, faith is easier when things are well and is tested in times of difficulty.  One must meet the test.

Faith can't be faked.  My difficulty is that I am dominated by maya and doubts that come and go.  I guess this is simply an indication to persist in my sadhana. 

I was watching a video by David Godman where he talks about giving your burdens to Ramana and having faith.  It's harder than it sounds.  It's a bit confusing to me too as some burdens we have to get involved with even if we have handed them over.  For example, if you hand over the burden of the health of the body you still need to make sure you're not putting bad food in it and that you get exercise and that you obtain helpful medicine.  Where do you draw the line in the efforts you make for something you have handed over?  Do you do your best and then leave everything else to faith or do you just do the minimal amount possible to not make things worse and leave the rest to faith? 

And faith and love seem related to me.  And like how you can't fake faith you can't fake love.  But if the fact you find yourself with is that your love is hindered by maya and your attachments and your ignorance, how do you grow that? 

And this association with body, this false belief that one is the body, it is so ingrained.  I have read so many times by teachers I trust about what my true self nature is, and yet my mind clings so strong to the idea that it is the body.  How strange.  False knots should be the easiest to cut. 

Even after good reflection and turning inwards, one can get so quickly pulled back into the world appearance.  It's all so fragile it seems. 

Jewell

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Re: A Request
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2018, 12:24:19 AM »
Dear Agnoya,

Quote
I was watching a video by David Godman where he talks about giving your burdens to Ramana and having faith.  It's harder than it sounds.  It's a bit confusing to me too as some burdens we have to get involved with even if we have handed them over.  For example, if you hand over the burden of the health of the body you still need to make sure you're not putting bad food in it and that you get exercise and that you obtain helpful medicine.  Where do you draw the line in the efforts you make for something you have handed over?  Do you do your best and then leave everything else to faith or do you just do the minimal amount possible to not make things worse and leave the rest to faith?

Yes,this is very true. It is harder than it seems for sure. I guess what is important is the addittude only. What we need to give up is our worry about it,not action itself. Like Sri Krishna said:
''You have the right to work, but for the work's sake only. You have no right to the fruits of work. Desire for the fruits of work must never be your motive in working. Never give way to laziness, either.

Perform every action with you heart fixed on the Supreme Lord. Renounce attachment to the fruits. Be even-tempered in success and failure: for it is this evenness of temper which is meant by yoga.

Work done with anxiety about results is far inferior to work done without such anxiety, in the calm of self-surrender. Seek refuge in the knowledge of Brahma. They who work selfishly for results are miserable.''

I understand what You are trying to say,i have found myself many times thinking and being annoyed with the difficulty to surrender the fruits of some action,and in the same time to perform it with dedication,since it draws me again towards attachment. It truly looks impossible. Like You said it is so fragile. Every now and then i find myself in the net of the mind darkness how i call it,and it really feels like darkness. It starts with some action always,with something this body is destined to perform. And it is hard not to get involved in the way. There is no day i talk to myself :Here we come again,drowned in the mind's whirlpool. I begin something with full enthusiasm that it is not me who is doing any work,that it is done by the nature itself,and this body is the part of that very nature,but in the mean time,i get pulled by the same powers of ignorance.

And i think this will be the case until this selfishness leaves,not before. But our efforts and this very hardship is the fire that will burn the veil. So we need to do what is needed to be done,in a detached manner(how much is possible at least),and do our best.
One thing is certain,if we have surrendered this little ego we would not have such doubts. This very doubt is the proof we have not surrendered this action at all. We think we did,but we are not. I know this very well,and i am sure all who are on this path.

How easy it charms me,this mind. Only little bit of distraction and there is-pulled and not being even able to notice it at all. It is so subtle,the line is so close as You said,truly. And how much lies i have spoke to myself,how many wrong motives hidden behind the true,selfish off course,intentions.
But it burns,it burns,and it will burn away. So long there is worry about anything,the sense of being involved,i know it is the ego play only.

What can help,well,only our dedication,perseverance and love for the Truth.

The power of our true Self is shining so brightly that this ego cannot stand the chance. In darkness,but i have known the Light. Like we all did. I feel it with all parts of my being,this Love,this Beauty,this Power which little mind cannot in any way understand or imagine. The Truth is so glorious i feel,i know,and the more time passes,the more we are able to see this,or more correct,to destroy the veils for this seeing. 
What i have realised recently is that so long we do not embrace the pain,we will not surrender at all. And we cannot never decide which kind of pain this will be,it is not the task of the ego. It all depends where are our hardest knots,so to say.

Sometimes.i find myself in such confusion that i do not know anymore what is right what is wrong. I try to do the right thing,but how can i know what is right. Blessed ignorance this is! Like someone said:''Come confusion,come pain,come darkness! '' Heal me from this illness,and make me realise what lies i have said to myself now. For the mind hides it so gently... Do not make me vain in good intentions,and do not make me brute in indifference!
When i look back now,i think we do not get to grow anything actually. It is He who does all the work always!!!

And one thing more You said right,it cannot be faked in any way. It must be real and authentic. Many times i tried to fake this,unknowingly sure,but it is impossible. When this ignorance is burned,than all will be true. For now,we must examine every intention and distrust the mind,this is the only cure.

I am telling You this since i am going through the same things. Faced with illness,i went from the stage where i thought i have surrendered and neglected the body completely,to the stage i did all opposite. But i did not surrendered at all. This was the fight for something higher and more noble,but fight of the same ego actually. Both approaches are wrong for the simple reason both belong to the mind. 

When we truly surrender,nothing will be of any importance at all. And this in most positive way there is! One thing is certain in this whirlpool of uncertainty-All will be well,All will be well!!! I do not know how,but i know it! My heart beats in this rhythm...

With love,

Agnoia

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Re: A Request
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2018, 10:47:36 PM »
This is why I appreciate this forum so much.  Where else would I get such honesty or such reminders of the true path?  Thank you for those. 

Those reminders about work and the fruits of one's labor were particularly helpful. 

"Here we come again,drowned in the mind's whirlpool." -- It's very reassuring to hear this, that mind appears that way to many.  Good thing Bhagavan told us not doubt the possibility of shedding the mind's false appearance for those who earnestly turn within. 

"This very doubt is the proof we have not surrendered this action at all." I guess then we will have to use our doubt as a motivation to try harder and inquire deeper. 

I hope your health is doing okay. 

I remember Robert Adams always saying that "All is well, and everything is unfolding as it should".  I need to get my faith there, but you mantra and belief that all is well seems to be excellently chosen and aligned with actuality, even if we can't always see it. 

Jewell

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Re: A Request
« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2018, 03:51:10 PM »
Thank You for the opportunity to share,dear Agnoia!

Quote
Good thing Bhagavan told us not doubt the possibility of shedding the mind's false appearance for those who earnestly turn within. 

This is the greatest promice of Bhagavan! For it becomes the actual Truth. Every word Bhagavan spoke unfolds with practice,and we are able to see that all He spoke is not anymore something we cannot understand,but the living Truth indeed.
As He said,Selfenquiry is the best cure,since it does not deal with the thoughts and similar,but it guides us beyond.

Quote
I remember Robert Adams always saying that "All is well, and everything is unfolding as it should".  I need to get my faith there, but you mantra and belief that all is well seems to be excellently chosen and aligned with actuality, even if we can't always see it.

He said it right. All IS good! Not it will be,but IS!
This was the mantra at first,but now is much more than this. It is knowledge,deep assurance within the heart. I am sure in this more than i am sure in my own existence,if i may say so.
When we see how everything unfolds and how we cling to something so petty and fragile,it becomes funny actually. And this selfishness is not an enemy at all. Everything is our friend here. How else would we notice that dark cloud of ignorance,if we cannot compare it to state,to say non-state where Bhagavan is taking us :-immersed in thoughts-the cloud,doing selfenquiry-present and in peace. It is not an enemy,truly. It is just something we cling so dearly,and this is the only problem there is.
You know,even this knowledge and deep assurance can be turned into something ugly if we turn it into thinking. It becomes hope,but it is not hope at all! It is all other dimension!!! Like this about we write also! It can be turned to judgment,and again we become involved in the thought process and identification with it. We are not this,we are not this! There is an error in these words i wrote:''how many times i lied to myself.."-it was never Me who lied,it was all ego play always,for I am beyond!!!.  It is all nature,so,in the end,we just let it be. That is why selfenquiry is so powerful,as Bhagavan said. It is indeed direct path,not letting us to deal with something which does not exist in the first place. In this way there is no way of any identification at all. We are at once beyond the mind.

The words of our Bhagavan are indeed so potent and powerful,for these are the words of the Living Truth,our Guru,our All Merciful God,our Beloved,our own Being!!!

This is the surest way to handicap oneself,
this burdening of one's mind with the fear of failure and thought of one's failings.

That fear is not true.

The greatest error of a man is to think that he is weak by nature, evil by nature.

Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi
« Last Edit: November 22, 2018, 04:03:14 PM by Jewell »

srkudai

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Re: A Request
« Reply #6 on: December 03, 2018, 11:02:56 AM »
Dear Agnoia,
         
            I wish you speedy recovery. It is good to seek God's help for your health and recovery. God, after all, is your best friend - who else can help ?

First : God is present as Awareness/ I AM (aham asmi) in you. Directly available.

so sit down , close your eyes , and relax into this Awareness [you can observe your breath / body to relax into awareness] and simply speak to that Awareness. you need to be silent and relaxed , in the presence. you can use a simple prayer like om namah sivaya : which can be your way of seeking help. you can say, "i do not know how to solve this situation and do not really know what is best to ask , so i chant your name as it is said that chanting name  is very powerful and can heal any situation" , and thus relax into that awareness and be there.
you are actually invoking god ! Like Gajendra of Gajendra moksha. so seeking help is fantastic, good and useful. it increases faith and reliance on God. it deepens your faith that world is only a leela of god.



Love!
Silence

atmavichar100

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Re: A Request
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2018, 07:35:04 AM »
Nice one Udai . Thanks for sharing .
However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them? - Buddha