Author Topic: my state of mind today  (Read 1301 times)


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my state of mind today
« on: August 08, 2011, 10:50:42 AM »
Past few days mind is interested in watchful attention.

For yesterday and today,  as usual my father expressed his irritation whenever I recited Ribhu gita or Thiruvasgam or bhagavan's works either by myself or if I put the audio player.

For him these sounds are all allergy, although he is not offensive against anybody.  He is mentally confused, depressed and has so much pessimistic attitude in life.  So he cannot be taken as a real arrogant person rather.

Everytime, his irritation is expressed, I would scold him and he will cut a sad face and move away from the place.  I will increase my reading duration also.

But for few days I let him vent out his irritation to the maximum.  Having a chance to speak out, he speaks this , that , tells that neighhours will get annoyed at playing sound system (only veda or bhajan or bhagavan's work do I play) ,  sometimes tells that he has headache hearing this all the time etc.

But I did not react. I let that situation arise, dance to its core and then subside.  He was little bit , very little bit surprised at my sudden inattention to his provoke.  But he did not show that in his attitude even to the slightest and silently went away.

Hear is it is -- nowadays I feel there is on point in fighting any thoughts,  fighting or answering any doubts or clarifying my stupid mind again and again of the greatness of surrender. I let my mind dance to its core, having a firm conviction that I am not the mind, I am not the body,  I am not the thoughts,  I am not that which changes all the time,  I am not that perishable things,  I simply exist to watch all this horror ,  I was before they came, will be after them.

I see the absolute unreality in the data processing done by the five senses,  the processing unit they have, the way they interpret all are mere perceptions. They are not real.

Until this body and prana are there, the five senses dance,  interpret and collect all knowledge.  In the end,  all goes waste, whatever remained before the birth of the five senses will prevail.

There were great emperors,  cruel Romans who were feared by crores of people.  But now will anybody fear them? Will anybody fear Hitler? No,  that prana is gone, merged in the Super Space.

So will this Krishna's body -- in few decades or may be years.  Then nothing, no knowledge, no knower and no forum typing. No doubts. 

This way I am watching all drama,  . No I realize Annamalai Swami's great advice -- dont chase this shadow,  just have the conviction that you are not that mind, body or any karma associated with it.  You dont die when body dies,  you dont cry when your mind cries nor do you enjoy when your body enjoys. 


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Re: my state of mind today
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2011, 12:28:17 PM »

Dear Krishna,

One way is to play the audio in low volume and or, you can chant the
verses in low volume.  This low volume soothes people who are disturbed.
It becomes a lullaby that we use for young kids to sleep.

Arunachala Siva.   


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Re: my state of mind today
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2011, 12:52:07 PM »

Do you think I play in high volumes?

There is some problem wit him that he immediately rejects anything positive and ensuring .

Even when I stop putting anything and just lit a lamp and incense,  he will time and again refer to that lamp and warn anybody going that way that they may get wounded due to that lamp.

Initially I thought he is telling as precaution, but slowly I observed and came to know that it is just another way of expressing some sort for frustation. Similarly he will ask to turn off the ghee lamp as soon as time reaches 7 PM.

There must be something within him that makes him restless all the time around.

Especially when I start chanting Ribhu Gita,  he will vent out his frusttration immediately by murmuring like anything.

I thought of stopping all this chanting, but then I decided that instead of that I should increase the chanting so that at one point his irritation level will increase very high and something may  break at that point and he may get cooled down.



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Re: my state of mind today
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2011, 04:31:58 PM »
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