Author Topic: This is what my state of mind today  (Read 1094 times)


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This is what my state of mind today
« on: August 04, 2011, 08:16:34 AM »
Today is Thursday,  Guru day. 

Morning as I woke up,  the choice between self enquiry and mathru sri sarada japam came before me.

I wanted to do self enquiry,  but that 'want' I could see was a ego's effort to go into a selfish blissful state.

So I took up mathru sri sarada japam,  which my mind did not prefer at that time.

I did not bother, I continued with my japam.

And the below things dawned on me.  Dawned means not like how it will be for great Rishis.  Anycase, I privilege myself by calling it 'dawned'

What is japam?  What is self enquiry?  Do you think you choose to do sadhana?  No,  a big No.  You are just a mere robot doll in the hands of Para Shakthi,  who is Ishwari,  the moola  maya.  Sometimes she puts few people into sadhana mode and they wrongly believe that they are doing sadhana.  No, wrong.  You cannot do anything on your own and you are not doing anythign on your own.  Every thought you come across,  every japa you do,  every self enquiry you do,  every lustful act you do,  every single breath you take, everything everything is controlled by that Adhi Shakthi to the minutest level.

Then where is the question of having faith on your Guru or otherwise by your own will?  No,  never.  Stop making this mistake atleast hereafter. Dont think you are doing this or that.  Prompted by a Divine Shakthi you seem to do all this by yourself. But infact  you dont have a free will.

Thats it,  it is in your scripts to do japam today, you are doing.  There is nothing proud about it.  Similarly you have lust because you have to.  You are under the control of the Divine Shakthi. So nothing to be ashamed about it.  Ok,  concession granted,  you want to pray for Divine Shakthi for complete celibacy and freedom from desire.  Go ahead, make a prayer.   In the end , if the prayer is granted means,  it is part of her leela to make you ask and then give.  If it not granted,  then it means she does not want you to be a jnani.   She wants you to be ignorant fool.  Accept Mother's supreme will.  Dont unnecessarily strain yourself.

Having this stream of 'dawn' going on in my mind,  I continued mathru sri sarada japam all my way to the office.  In the eyes there were vain look at everybody I saw in the road.  People were staring at me as to why this man is looking like this.  I did not mind.

« Last Edit: August 04, 2011, 08:19:48 AM by ksksat27 »


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Re: This is what my state of mind today
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2011, 08:28:34 AM »

Dear krishnan,

All your methods of sadhana are determined by God or Guru.  Saint Manikavachagar says:
"What tapas did I do? I was simply saying Sivaya Namaha |  Siva came into my Heart on His
own and made my heart taste sweet like honey and nectar!

Siva is ever there. Once you do a particular sadhana as determined by Him  He will REVEAL
Himself sweet as honey and nectar in the Heart.

Arunachala Siva.