Author Topic: How I came to Bhagavan  (Read 802 times)

Subramanian.R

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How I came to Bhagavan
« on: February 07, 2010, 12:07:38 PM »
Muhammad Abdulla writes:-

I was brought up in rather religious surroundings and grew up a
religious man.  Later, when I went to college and abroad, my
outlook changed.  I became an agnostic, if not a downright atheist,
This condition lasted till my late thirties.  All this time, off and on,
I tried to regain my faith, but to no avail.  Somehow an idea of
an anthomorphic God did not appeal to me. I could not see any
reason why God created the world.  If He wanted to prove Himself
to Himself, it rather seemed rather a poor reason.  To create the
world as a puppet showan enjoy it as a spectator also seemed
ungodly and rather cruel.

Many questions troubled me.  What is God?  What is life?  What
is it all about?  Scriptures did not satisfy me for they demanded
faith to begin with, which I did not have.  I studied psychology
but there was nothing beyond the unconscious mind.  I turned
to dialectical materialism but then again that its adherents were
at loggerheads on trivialities.  Turning to existentialism, I found
it too morbid and depressing.  Finally I turned to metaphysics
and mysticism and that is where luck favoured me.

While I was searching for a clue to my problem, by chance I got
hold of a book from the library itself.  It was an old edition of
DAY BY DAY WITH BHAGAVAN.  I was not particularly interested
when I started reading it, but as I progressed, my indifference
gave way to astonishment.  Well, here at last, there was someone who was reaching me!  I read on with great enthusiasm and finished the book with a thirst for more.  I placed an order for all the books of Bhagavan from the Asramam Book Depot.  I had never waited
more eagerly for anything than the book parcel.  When it came
I studied everything from cover to cover drinking deep from this
source of true wisdom.

For a couple of months, I was immersed heart and soul in the
teachings of Bhagavan.  Here at last, all my questions were answered, all my doubts cleared. When I had imbibed His teaching, I planned a visit to the Asramam.

Now, I must say a word or two about the visits to the Asramam. There is something in coming to and going from this place.
Some mysterious force takes charge of you the moment you decide to go there.  I met by chance, an od devotee Prof. K. Swaminathan, who is in charge of Ramana Kendra in New Delhi.  He encouraged me to make the visit.

I left New Delhi and arrived at the Asramam two days later.  It was 2.30 PM.  I sat in the meditation hall facing Bhagavan's picture. He seemed SO MUCH ALIVE.  Such a kind and benevolent smile!  I could not move my eyes away from Him.  I had no idea of time when suddenly the dinner gong was sounded at 7.30 PM.

I lived in the Asramam for a month, and meditated morning and evening.  I found to my surprise that the problems which seemed monumental gradually receded to the background.  The past beame shadowy. Yesterday's desires made no sense and made me laugh.  Apprehension for the future dwindled to nothing.  I felt happy.

A month was quickly over and I travelled back with a heavy heart. I had only one prayer when I took leave of Bhagavan.  I wanted to come again.  I also prayed to Bhagavan to help me maintain the peace that I had found after a long time in my life.  Both my prayers were answered.  I came again and again.  Bhagavan never forsook me in my hours of trials.

I never let go of Bhagavan nor does He let go of me!

(Source:  The Silent Power, Collection of articles from the Call
Divine and Mountain Path.  Sri Ramanasramam, Tiruvannamalai.)

Arunachala Siva.