Author Topic: Who am I - an enquiry by a Saint  (Read 2676 times)

Nagaraj

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Who am I - an enquiry by a Saint
« on: February 05, 2010, 12:08:41 AM »
Dear I,

I am here to post this excellent article as written by the saint himself. It is a big article, those of you who are really interested may enlighten themselves by this excellent article.

Salutations to Sri Ramana
॥ शांतमात्मनि तिष्ट ॥
Remain quietly in the Self.
~ Vasishta

Nagaraj

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Re: Who am I - an enquiry by a Saint
« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2010, 12:11:14 AM »
I began the meditation with mental prostrations to Swami Vidyananda, Swami Suryananda, Swami Sivananda, Swami Yogeshwarananda, Ramana Maharshi, Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, Vyasa Maharshi, Hanumanji and Bhagawan Rama. Then I plunged into the profound thought that Energy is God. The thought process went as follows: Everything is Energy. This body is energy. We get energy on this earth from sun. Only a fraction of Sun’s energy reaches the earth, the rest is reflected back or absorbed by the atmospheric belts, stratosphere, ionosphere etc. A fraction falls on green plants and get converted into matter as carbohydrates, according to the reaction:

6CO2+6H2O hv C6H12O6+6O2

According to this reaction, six molecules of Carbondioxide (CO2) from air combine with six molecules of water(H2O) in green plants in the presence of sun light (hv) to produce one molecule of Carbohydrate (C6H12O6) and six molecules of Oxygen (O2). The process is known as Photosynthesis.

Conversely, matter can be converted back to energy according to mass-energy equation:

E=mC2

Where E is energy in ergs, m is mass in grams and C is the velocity of light in centimetres per second.

Thus Brahma, symboled as Om manifesting as energy in the form of photon, identifies with object and takes birh in matter. This is how the samsara (material world) began. Then after many evolutionary transformations the same photon of energy has come to human stage.
This body of mine is only a condensed form of energy. All the solid matter is energy, so is all the liquid, including the vast expanse of water in the ocean and also the gaseous matter. Liquid and gases are less condensed than solids. They are all energy, only appearing in different forms, sizes, shapes and colours to sense organs. Actually the sense organs are creating this confusion, in reality there is absolutely no difference between different objects. They are all Brahma. This body of mine, vayu, agni, apa and Prithvi, is indeed energy, that is Brahma.

This body made up of inert, complex, chemical substances, which in reality is a form or mere energy, cannot be the consciousness ‘I’. Because in sleep and in swoon it loses awareness, an in death loses consciousness and becomes lifeless eternally and reverts back to nature in the form or ether, air, fire, water and earth (the pancha Bhootas). The consciousness ‘I’ must be different from the aggregate of organic matter. So ‘I’ cannot be the body. Then who am I? What entity is meant by the term ‘I’ and who is it that has the feelings and possessiveness f the body and asserts ‘I’, ‘I’ always? I must know the ‘I’, who dwells in the insentient body and is beset with feelings. The physical world being formless energy in reality, its physical appearances is nothing but an illusion created by sense organs.

As I got deeply engrossed in the thought, unaware of anything external, ‘I’ becoming the pure thought, just the thought and nothing else, I was confronted with the most formidable question, for the first time in my life.

The question was: Who is this ‘I’?

No, I had no answer, nor could I grasp. I reflected on what Swami Vidyananda had said earlier in the day. “I know, I am not doing this, I am not talking, the body is doing it. The body is going on like a tape recorder, I don’t think, it just goes on by itself.”
I continued my cogitation; who was the ‘I’ that the sage meant? So there must be an ‘I’ which is different from the body. Who is that ‘I’?
I had no answer, but had the question in my grapple firmly. I would not let it go until I had the answer. I went deeper still and another round of recollection, and reflection f the two above equations, in more detail.

The whole body is energy. There is nothing but energy in the Universe. Everything is Brahma, nothing but Brahma, then who is this individual ‘I’?
Still no answer in sight. There was only one thought, just the thought alone, unaware of the body and everything else.
Who is this ‘I’? I went several rounds, back and forth: Everything is Energy, everything is Brahma, then who is this ‘I’?

The ‘I’ which was so obviously perspicuous, which never needed even a moment’s thought to know till now, appeared illusively enigmatic, the most concealed and perplexing secret. A thing which was so far clearly the knower and the subject, now suddenly turned an unknown object to be known, and the most difficult one. I was fully engrossed with this single thought, with so deep a concentration that I never knew before, for quite some time.

Then in one spark, the answer flashed. ‘I’ is:

SHOONYA

‘I’ is nothing, it is naught, a cipher. A non-entity. It does not exist. ‘I’ is a mere non existent ego. It has no existence, no place on earth.
That was it.

I was still in the unfathomable depths of my thought without of course the old ‘I’. Everything was clear. Earlier Swami Vidyananda had said:
“there is nothing ........ there is nothing. It is a wonder to find that there is nothing. Buddha had found that everything was shoonya. One must give up ‘I’ and ‘mine’ to realise it.... Everything is Brahma .... there is only Energy .....”

These statements, unintelligible mere words till now, became perfectly clear. Waking state is indeed a dream.

Again the question came: who is this ‘I’?

The answer flashed instantly: there is no ‘I’. Out of ignorance you thought ‘I’, because you were dreaming. Now the dream is over. You have woken up from the dream, so now there is no ‘I’.

The body was in perfect padmasana eyes closed, totally unaware of the body, the breathing and the world around; not sleeping or dreaming, but fully aware, within deep Samadhi.

It was peaceful. Then out of the calm, in that abysmal Samadhi, a vision of thick jungle appeared, and in it a ferocious tiger, advancing closer to me.

“No, there is no tiger there, I only thought it was tiger, out of ignorance. That which appears as a tiger is but an image. It was I who erroneously thought it real.”

Sure enough, as the real tiger approached closer, it turned into an empty colourful skin, hollow inside, which instantly evaporated to nothingness.

Again the question popped up: What was this ‘I’ who thought the tiger real?
No, this ‘I’ also has no reality, it too has evaporated to nothingness as did the tiger. There is nothing at all anywhere, only Brahma everywhere.

“It is so simple.”
“Yes, indeed, it is so simple.”
“Why, then did Istruggle so hard?”
“Because I was dreaming, I took dream to be real.”
“Who is this ‘I’ again?”
“There is n ‘I’, there is nothing at all.”
“Yes it is an error. It is doubly clear now.”
“But it is s easy, so simple. Anybody can realise this much, it is not difficult at all.”
“Yes, very much so.”
“This is joy. This is bliss the real happiness. I should get up from meditation and jump in delight and dance in ecstasy and sing the glory of the Lord.”
“Who is this ‘I’ again that wants to jump and dance in ecstasy?”
“Yes, of course, ‘I’ is shoonya.So there is nothing to jump and dance.”

The Sage’s words flashed “One has to continuously dwell in Brahma, only then the ‘I’ will dissolve. Till then you have to continue your sadhana. Attainment is not complete until you reach that state of Sahaja Samadhi.

‘I’ is cipher. Then how can I say – aham Brahmasmi (I am Brahman)?

“No. You cannot. You said that while you were dreaming. At that time “I” existed. It did not know its non-entity-ness then. Now there is no aham, no I. So there remains only the Brahma. Just remember that. And also remember that the waking is a dream.”

“Yes, it is clear now.”

The bell rang at the end of ninety minute meditation, the Samadhi abated, the awareness of surroundings crept in, and I came out a changed, altogether different person, with the old ‘I’ annihilated, and may be baby born n a new horizon.

Shoonya or nothingness should not be construed as absolute nothing. Only the ‘I’, the ego is shoonya or cypher, not the consciousness. If the ego in me is false, all other individual egos in other beings are also false. This means that all names and forms (nama, roopa) are false, which in turn means that the manifest world is also false. They are mere appearances, as the appearances in dream. Just as the dream world appears real during the dream, but disappears and becomes false, the moment you wake up, so does the waking world become false and non-existent, the moment you arise from the waking. This waking up is called the Turiya or the fourth state, where you recognise that all the other states and the phenomenal world are imagery of the ego, and are false.

When the world becomes false what remains is only the REAL ‘I’, the illuminator of the false the false ego. It is the consciousness, the Brahma. It is not shoonya, not false. It is REAL. It illumines the ego which has no consciousness of its own and with this borrowed consciousness the ego creates imagery and thinks itself real. When the ego itself is unreal, how can its creation be real?

Salutations to Sri Ramana
॥ शांतमात्मनि तिष्ट ॥
Remain quietly in the Self.
~ Vasishta

silentgreen

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Re: Who am I - an enquiry by a Saint
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2010, 07:54:16 AM »
Really nice post.

Is it written by Swami Virajeshwara ?
I read his autobiography "Scientist's Search for Truth".
His ashram is a really nice and silent place. Quite remote.
Full of natural vibrations and spiritual quietude.
Homage to the Universal Being...Om Shanti ... Om Shanti ... Om Shanti ...

Nagaraj

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Re: Who am I - an enquiry by a Saint
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2010, 09:24:15 AM »
Dear I,

Yes, you are right, it is Swami Virajeshwara. His Ashramam is near to Hosur, in a small village called Kelamanglam. I believe his ashramam has absolutely no contact phone. The only way of communication is by way of post alone. clarity reflects like a crystal in his writings.

Salutations to Sri Ramana
॥ शांतमात्मनि तिष्ट ॥
Remain quietly in the Self.
~ Vasishta