Author Topic: The Despondency of a Seeker  (Read 1283 times)


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The Despondency of a Seeker
« on: October 03, 2009, 01:23:40 PM »
Most of us who follow atma-vichara, experience a sense of
helplessness or a hump that blocks our further progress. 
This has been the experience of many sincere devotees/seekers
of Bhagavan Ramana too, when He was in the Hill.

Major Chadwick came for permanent stay in India and in the
Asramam.  He was a person who had some expererience of the
inner Eye, a vague vichara marga fore-taste, even before he
came to India.  After reading Bhagavan Ramana, he found that
He was the Guru for him and so he rushed to Tiruvannamalai.

The first two years were really excellent for him.  Then there
was some hump, a block and he could not progress.  Though he
was coming to the Hall and meditated for long hours and asked
some useful questions, he found that he was stuck.  At sometime,
he even thought of returning to his home abroad and live "a normal
life."  A few days passed.  Normally he was not a person who
took afternoon siesta inside the cottage, but would spend time
fully awake and reading something. 

So, one day, he came to the Hall when there were none.
He moved the punka (a huge cloth structure that is hung
under the ceiling and which is moved by the attendants so that
Bhagavan Ramana would get some cool breeze.).  Chadwick
used to move this punka for Bhagavan Ramana, very often.
Bhagavan Ramana was reading some newspaper or a letter.
He slowly started:

"Bhagavan!  Why I have become like this?  Why am I stuck
without any further progress? Why am I growing more and
more restless, as days passed?  Am I not fit for self realization?
Should I go back to my country?"

Bhagavan Ramana did not answer him for a few minutes.  He
then raised His head, looked at Chadwick intently for a few more
minutes and then said:  "Oh, There are so many I's in your
statement.  Who is this I?  For whom this I?"

The counter-questions came like bullets.  Before that the
gaze had prepared the ground.  Major Chadwick kept silent,
almost in tears, prostrated before Bhagavan Ramana and then
left to cottage silently.

A few more days passed.  One day, around 8 am in the morning,
Major Chadwick came running from his cottage. He was a having
wet towel around his kept.  He was in the midst of his bath. There were water drops all over the Hall.  He came very near to the
sofa and asked Bhagavan Ramana in a choked voice:

"Bhagavan!  Is it so simple?"

Bhagavan Ramana smiled at him and said:  Yes.  That is all!

Chadwick never left India.

People wonder how such a counter-question from Bhagavan
Ramana could cure all the despondency?  It was not as
long as Krishna's Srimad Bhagavad Gita.  Then, how it happened?  It is the Guru's Grace, through His gaze on a sincere devotee!

Bhagavan Ramana's Atma Vidya Kirtanam, Verse 5 speaks only of this Grace, which gushes forth like a waterfall from the Guru.
He also describes this in Sri Arunachala Padigam, Verse 1:

You it was, who by your Grace, claimed me as your own.  What would be my fate of now, after having done this, you would not reveal yourself to me and I, still yearning for you should perish in anguish in the darkenss of this world? Can the lotus bloom unless it sees the Sun? And you are the Sun of suns.  Your Grace abounding swells and as a river that overflows, O Love, whose form is mighty ?Arunachala!

                                     - Tr. K. Swaminathan.

The only eligibility criterion for the seeker is to be a lotus
and not a frog under the lotus stem!  This He says Verse 6
of Sri Arunachala Padigam.

Arunachala Siva.