dear udai
i liked your last posts about swamiji
I also met a very good teacher, and in a way the 3 days of meditation and talk about our essence also had a deep impact on myself...
I think this impact is in a way similar....I just understood that I cannot do a thing to be what Iam...that Iam allready complete and whole and presence...simply presence.....the only thing I can do is to relaxe into it....because why hurrry? why put tons of energy into a search that is nothing but a mirage, a mindtrick to keep the mind alive...
like the verse of longchenpa says:
....so if we aspire to the supreme state of being
we should cast aside all childich games that fetter
and exhaust body, speech and mind;
and stretching out in inconceivable nonaction;
now I started to study the dzogchen maha ati buddhism deeper and deeper, and it is so clear so easy and so direct that it jsut transforms me from day to day...I relaxe more and more, I have no more trouble with my work, I just sit back and relaxe into what ever comes (may it be stress or hardwork or no work, I deeply understood tha tit is absent in reality, it is not existing so why should I fight with it, wo can fight it?)....something is letting go on a deep level...more and more
jet I also feel that Iam a total beginner, and that there is much more to expereince and to let go....I can see my attachemnts very clearly, also my tension in my body, my old patterns...this is all very clear to me (and there is no more fight against it) so now I feel that I found a great treasure, and that this treasure is limitless good and blissfull...
but I also feel that my goodness, my love can grow limitless...because it comes from a source that knows no limits....so there is no end to the journey...
in a way samsara is totally unreal, but jet we can create alot of good energy in samsara...when we come from hte right place with the right understanding (that samsara is unreal, that the good energy is not existing a tall)..it is a big paradox of course, but we can bring good to the world, and hte greatest good is realisation of the who we are...
I plan to travel to Nepal soon, to study the maha ati buddhism on a very deep level, and my next trip will be to Tirvunnamalai and I think I should also meet swami suddhanada (my dzogchen teacher recommendet arunachala as a very important spot for more clarification...nothing new to me of course)
Iam very happy for you that you found a teacher in flesh and blood