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Topics - rideforever

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General Discussion / Website Changes
« on: January 19, 2010, 02:47:56 AM »

I would like a section where people discuss their perceptions of reality and experiences of self-enquiry.

At the moment there are for instance a number of sections on the 'teachings' of Maharshi which I dont think are as important as seekers sharing their sense of I.

I think it would be useful if seekers as they are seeking document what perception of reality they are having now.  I think this would be useful.

Often I make a post and the replies are just quotes from a book by Maharshi - I don't like this because it is not a sharing of your sense of I when you open a book and start copying it into Internet Explorer - how is this self-enquiry, you are just copying a book. 

Share your sense of I.  I think this is good.  Copying books is not good.

General topics / Gratefulness
« on: December 28, 2009, 12:53:14 AM »
I am grateful for this group and its wisdom.

General topics / Ryokan Poem
« on: December 28, 2009, 12:52:05 AM »

My hut lies in the middle of the dense forest.
Every year the ivy grows longer,
no news of the affairs of men,
only the occasional song of a woodcutter.
The sun shines, I mend my robe.
When the moon is out I read poems.
I have nothing to report.

General topics / The Truth
« on: December 28, 2009, 12:50:24 AM »
In the West religion becomes fuzzy, a grey-area, a cloudy mystery.  Like "oh ok, religion looks nice for you - I can see it makes you feel good - but it is not for me", or "Oh yes, well he was talking about Truth - it's a metaphor for ... ".

No.  It is no metaphor.  The Truth is the Truth.  It is the Truth of your existence, it is the Truth of all existence, and when you see it you will see it within you not somewhere else.  It is not that you look over Buddha's shoulder and say "oh I see what you are playing with".  No.  You will see it within you and know that it is the Truth.

It is literally the Truth.  Literally.  There is nothing further, and you will know it to be so whe you see it within you.

General topics / Where Are the Jnanis ?
« on: December 22, 2009, 03:36:40 PM »

I am having a lot of insights at the moment.  And I would like to be among jnanis (or whoever) to discuss them.  It's quite unbelievable some of the things I am thinking ... like how do I know there is anyone else on the planet ?

Anyway ... is there an Ashram for Jnanis or a meditation centre or a church somewhere on the planet where people talk about these things.  Sort of like a working group ... do some practice, then discuss etc...


General topics / Life is Too Weird
« on: December 09, 2009, 02:48:04 AM »

I talk to myself a lot.  I talk about the virtues of meditation and what the mind is ... I talk about why we are not the body and not the mind, like I am trying to convince someone.  I think I do it out of habit now ...

And then, I wake up.  Whilst I am talking suddenly I get the feeling of waking up.  Wow, it's frightening.  Like a near death experience.  Bang !  I am awake.  Talking about it makes it happen.

And I can't believe it.  I can't believe my own consciousness, what am I doing here ?  What am I ?  Why am I awake ?  In a universe of a billion stars what the hell am I doing here ?

Suddenly I feel awake and aware, looking out through these animal eyes - what am I doing. 

I find it quite scary, and then try to go back to sleep ... it's too scary.

General topics / The Journey of a Man
« on: December 02, 2009, 08:24:54 PM »
He descends.  Bit by bit.

The fog has been around for some time.  But slowly it is clearing.  He sees the ground some times, in patches.  What did he see ?  And then the fog closes around him again and he can forget about it for a while ... but something is nagging at him ... he saw something !  There was something there !  It seemed important ... what was it I saw ?

As I progress on the journey books that I didn't understand before now make sense, somehow I have learnt the language of this book and it means something to me now, drawing me forward.

Other men on this journey have written about their journey.  They have written what they see from where they are standing, and their writings are bridges to walk across showing us the road home.

I discard.  Jettison.  Bit by bit, I discard everything.  I have come far enough down this road to guess what the end of the road looks like. 

It looks like Arunachala. 

Ashrams / Long term stay near Arunachala
« on: December 02, 2009, 02:21:03 AM »
Hello, can someone please advise me.

I would like to come to Arunachala to do a retreat for maybe 6 months, but I do not know anything about the accommodation.

It would be good to find something like a homestay or secluded location actually on the hill or at the foot of the hill - i.e. not in a town.   And for food to be provided.  As it is 6 months I would be looking for something basic and cheap where I can be alone to do what I need to do.

It does not need to be anything other than a shed at the foot of the hill and access to food.

Any information please ?


General topics / Nisargadatta : desire after desire
« on: November 24, 2009, 01:12:40 AM »

Such giving up of desires, does it need time ?

If you leave it to time, millions of years will be needed.  Giving up desire after desire is a lengthy process with the end never in sight.  Leave alone you  desires and fears, give you entire attention to the subject, to him who is behind the experience of desire and fear. 

Ask : "who desires?"  and let each desire bring you back to yourself""

General topics / Sincerity
« on: November 23, 2009, 01:26:47 AM »
I have been thinking about sincerity recently.  It feels like if you are sincere then you are a holy person, and that most people just do not stop to think about their lives and are living unsincerely.  Being holy is not about any particular beliefs or practices, it is just a question of sincerity.

I feel like a lot of things happening in the world and around me are not sincere ... but inside I always felt sincere.

General topics / Am I Close To Realization ?
« on: November 21, 2009, 04:03:06 AM »
I have not been practicing for very long but sometimes I feel I am close to reaching the Absolute. 

(Right now I am speaking on the basis of the memories I have of a meditation that occurred a few minutes ago)

It was strange, I was not really trying ... just mucking about ... but I descended through myself and saw the core, still, like a crysal or mirror, without any properties, there is something, without any properties.

And I suddenly realised that I don't exist, that my thoughts/feelings/actions and the person they seem to imply does not exist.  I didn't think it -- I just suddenly realised it. 

The guides (gurus) say that you don't need to go anywhere, that you are already here.  This has been very difficult to understand.  How can I already be here ? But a minute ago, I understood, I saw it.  Suddenly I just saw it to be true.

Am I close ?  How can I be close, I have not done much training ?  I have been meditating a little bit for 2 years, not much, just for relaxation.

Sometimes I feel like I could walk through to the Absolute.  It would not be hard.  But there is fear.  The body has fear.  But I see the Absolute ahead.

And when I come out of the meditation (like now) ... I am uncertain again of what I saw, my mind thinks it is a joke.  But I am scared now, shaking a bit.  But I know - I saw it.  I saw it.  I saw it.  Feel quite scared.

Should I say goodbye to my friends if I am to go through, will I know them after ?  Will they know me ?

The teachings of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi / The Strangeness of Life
« on: November 10, 2009, 11:02:46 PM »

I keep getting hit with the strangeness of life as I walk about in it.  I can't quite believe it.  I find it strange that particular things exist in this life and other things don't exist.

Cup, plate, road ... what is the meaning of it ?  Why do cups exist ? 

Things look very strange. 

Hello, I have some questions.

I have just started reading "I Am That" by Nisargadatta, and like Maharshi's books, I keep saying "Holy Shit" to myself every paragraph, because finally here is someone who can explain something to me about existence. 

But, my questions are :

1.  The technique of self-enquiry is very simple.  What then is yoga (which is complex, big and full of stuff) - is it a waste of time ?  Many people think yoga (asana, pranayama, bhakti etc...) is very important and spend their whole lives perfecting it - are they wasting their time and deceiving themselves ?

2.  Perhaps self-enquiry is a way to break the mind.  But why break it when it works ?  It's like a computer that is unhappy being a computer and blows itself up - maybe it just needs to accept that it is a computer and live like a computer, yes it is a poor life but live it anyway.

3.  Ok, say I practice self-enquiry and my mind dissolves permanently.  Then what ?  What is there to do ?  It's boring.  Yes you are very happy living in the oneness of awareness etc... but you aren't doing anything are you ?  It is true that the world is screwed up and an illusion, but you have an opportunity to do something in it - an opportunity, so why not take the opportunity to do something.  Self-enquiry is a way of blowing yourself up so you do not take the opportunity.

4.  Why does the world exist anyway ?  Is it a mistake ?  Isn't it more likely that the all-encompassing consciousness of the universe was bored and wanted something to exist so that there would be opportunity to do something !!!  The universal consciousness wants the world to exist !    And now with self-enquiry you blow it up.  You are ruining the game that you yourself made !

I would be very grateful for your comments.  Please don't say "practice self-enquiry and you will know" !



Arunachala / Strange Experiences - What Does It Mean ?
« on: September 06, 2009, 03:10:23 AM »

I have recently had some very strange experiences and perhaps somebody can guide me to what they mean.

I did a 3 day intense course 6am-11pm x 3 days.  The exercise that we performed for this time was to ask ourselves who am i continually for the entire duration of the course with intense focus.

Towards the end I had a number of different experiences:

(1) I had a very intense body feeling and saw white light emanating from one of the other course participants that eventually filled all my vision, within this I saw first the buddha in an orange glow, and then spiritual woman, perhaps the Virgin Mother.

(2) At a different time this happened : I was relaxing just gazing at the ceiling of a room and lying on my back, suddenly I saw through the ceiling and something very strange happened, I saw beyond ... the world.  I understand that the world is just a molecular clock, just atoms and molecules, and that the reason why we see walls and floors, hands and people, is because of the mental modifications of what we are witnessing.  For a split second my mind did not modify anything and I saw the world as it is just molecules.  It is a world without any values at all.  It is frightening because everything you know (friends family love etc...) vanish in a world without values.

(3) I had the experience of waking up.  It was shocking.  I woke up for a split second and then fell back to sleep (normal life).  Again and again ... every 20 or 30 seconds I woke up and fell back to sleep.  When I woke up I realised that life is a dream, but you cannot understand it unless you wake up.  This continual waking and falling back asleep was extremely traumatic and felt like I was going to go mad, but finally a few days after the course it stopped happening.  I don't think I am ready for this experience - it is too much.

Anyway, if anybody understands what these experiences mean I would be interested to hear what you say.



The teachings of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi / Beginners Help
« on: June 01, 2009, 12:13:56 AM »

I am interested in Self Enquiry.  I have tried a few times but having trouble.  I enquire "who is me ?" - I am trying not to do it just with the mind but with my whole being, but the feeling of I is elusive and I can't really catch hold of something. 

Sometimes I think I have caught the feeling of I but it is only a weak feeling.

Please help


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