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Messages - binoyc

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Lord Ramana Dakshinamurthi?s ?Who am I? and ? Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi?  maybe the only two books one needs.
?Who am I? moulds the devotee into a sadhaka but it is the ?Talks? book that pushes one inwards.
It is impossible to go beyond few pages of ?Talks? without one putting this book down and gliding into that awareness. Many statements of the Lord  in this book are Mahavakyas capable of instantly stilling the mind and pulling it into that awareness.
Some questions in this book elicits no response from the Lord, absolute silence. Oh what a silence it must have been for the devotees present there. That silence must have sucked everything.
Then there is that all radiant smile with which the Lord answers some questions. The infinitely kind Lord is requesting, pleading but never ordering the questioner to do self inquiry.
Immaculately pure, infinitely kind Lord Ramana Dakshinamurthy gave us the greatest treasure in the form of self inquiry teachings and this book is one of it's brightest jewels.


"Sri Sadhu Om:

Unceasing Self-attention is possible only in the state of Self-realization and not in the state of practice (sadhana). What one has to do during the period of sadhana is to cultivate ever-increasing love to attain Self-knowledge and make intermittent but repeated attempts to turn one's attention a full 180 degrees towards Self. If one once succeeds in doing this, then unceasing Self-attention will be found to be natural and effortless. "

Mind will run out hundreds of times, the sadhana is to realize this slip from self awareness and to come back to that " I am ". This realization of slip and coming back to self awareness is the greatest sadhana, these are two different efforts. One measure of progress is the quickness with which one realizes this slip and then glides down to that awareness. As one progresses the duration of self attention increases though still requiring effort, until one day the self awareness appears spontaneously, initially for a very short period of time. This is a major milestone in one's sadhana.
During this stage one may develop intense emotional feeling towards Sri Bhagavan especially when one hears his stories or sees his picture, tears will come out and a sense of intense love for Sri Bhagavan emerges. Vasanas will continue to torment one's efforts but there grip will loosen.
In self awareness there is no thought at all, only pure awareness. Rise of even a single though however subtle it may be indicates a break in the self awareness. One may also have a subtle but palpable feeling of sadness or a sense of incompleteness when one is away from this sadhana, as when one is indulging in and engrossed in worldly affairs.


What an incredibly pious life these devotees must have have lived during their previous births.They were able to see the glorious form of the Lord, able to hear his melodious voice, able to inhale the divine air that he exhaled, able to walk on the sacred dust that he walked on. Can we fathom what these devotees must have experienced with Lord of the universe sitting in front of them. Many have described in much detail the experiences but words can only go so far.

Was debating about posting my experience on this forum. I will be fanning this ego whose intricacies are becoming more apparent, nevertheless have decided to go ahead. These thoughts show my struggles with being a householder while practicing atma  vichara.

Bhagavan Ramana came to my life early last year. I had a spiritual bent of mind but was also  slave to the rational mind. Did go to temples and satsang but mechanically. I came upon Bhagavan?s ?Talks? book one day last year and was struck by the profundity of his teachings. Still rational mind didn?t accept and would create questions, wanting proof etc. One day while watching Bhagavan?s  video on You Tube, tears started to flow suddenly. An intense ache to know more began.I reread the teaching ?Who am I? and started atma vichara. Found out initially that ego was extremely subtle, difficult to catch hold off. Later by practice came to learn that paradoxically at its strongest ( like in anger, pride,self gloating,sense of accomplishment) it was also the weakest and easy to catch hold off. The moment awareness is focused on it, it would disappear. What remained in its  place is difficult to describe, may be a state of silence is the closest  description. I practiced it repeatedly, the period of this silent state increased over next few months. Then the state of  silence started coming on its own albeit occasionally. It could also be brought with very little effort if mind was turned inwards.The silence now could be called a state of peace. In this state one could initially witness bubbling of very subtle background ego as faint illogical thoughts. No attention was paid to these subtle thoughts and they would disappear. Now a days even these subtle thoughts don?t arise, only peace and a state of awareness. Sometimes I would be staring at a distance with only a sense of awareness and peace but no thoughts.This happens even at work, but strangely very often when I am driving. There is a stare to the distance but with acute awareness of the surroundings. But these states do not last long as the mind rises again. Mind has to be brought inwards again and again to attain this state. I have also become very emotional when I see any of Bhagawan?s photos or read about his stories. A longing for his darshan has crept inside, occasionally very intense but  lasts only some minutes. Vasanas and ego  remain strong though as indicated by recurrent lapses into the world of greed, anger, craving for worldly things, sometimes so powerful that one forgets contemplation for days and weeks. But then again suddenly the longing for that state creeps in. There is also a strange sense of sadness (subtle) when I move away from contemplation /atma vichara towards worldly pursuits. Am I a sadhaka who is ready for a speck of Bhagvan?s grace? No not yet, a long road lies ahead. My frequent fallings into vigorous worldly pursuits and still strong ego is an evidence to that. Strive I will though for that speck of grace.

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